Why Me, Dear Lord?”


Writer’s note: The following is a written account of an actual experience I had July 25, 2014 while visiting my friend in Camrose, Alberta, Canada. I have no doubt that God has called me to write a story which began unfolding from the very moment she and I became friends over an internet scrabble game almost seven years ago. The miracles have been many as He continues to lay out His will and purpose for me, and, yet, the clearer it became, the more I struggled and fought it. Truth be told, I still struggle, but I want nothing more than to please Him and to complete this God-given assignment. And, I will, one step at a time. This website and these posts are one of those steps. Please pray for me to keep putting one foot, one word in front of the other until I get where He wants me. Thanks for reading.


As I sat on the couch in the sunroom of her new little old house, I watched as the trees swayed violently in the wind, her backyard framed by the darkest and most menacing clouds Camrose had seen in quite some time.

My thoughts began circling the very reason I had come to be in this very place at this very time. A call from God that had started some five and a half years ago; a beckoning to be His instrument in transforming darkness, tragedy and sadness into goodness, light and eternity for those who know and love him now as well as those who have yet to discover Him; for those, such as myself, called to fulfill His purposes on earth.

On a spiritual level, I was more than honored to have been chosen, but on a human level, I was completely overwhelmed. I quickly felt a storm—a storm of the same proportions of what raged outside –begin to rise up from the deepest reaches of my soul. Inside and out, the darkness mounted up from the horizon as if all the demons in hell were readying for battle.

From the genesis of time, Satan has always had a knack for knowing just when to attack. And—sensing that the doubts and insecurities he had planted within me had begun to take root— the time had apparently come. Rapidly, he and his band of demons advanced into the heavenly realms causing the world beneath and within to grow dim.

“Why me? Why this very difficult story and journey? Surely, there is someone else that is far more able? I am not worthy. I don’t want to let you down; please, please help me to understand. Show me what to do,” I pleaded to the heavens as the clouds continued to loom darker and darker.

Finally, the sounds of battle began. Thank God, I thought to myself, the enemy has obviously met resistance. Deafening thunder rolled and echoed as God’s angels hurled lightning bolts at our demonic aggressors, setting the dark sky on fire with flashes of hope and promise. It wasn’t long before I realized that the good guys were already winning, just as they always do. And, just as He has always promised, from the darkest of circumstances, the living waters of Heaven began to rain down on the earth and inside my very soul.

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Our Father who art in Heaven…


The Lord's Prayer Photo

Earlier this week, I was asked to review a lesson for an upcoming church-wide bible study. The study is designed to teach us how to be grounded in prayer as taught by Jesus Himself through the The Lord’s Prayer. What beautiful words!

But, The Lord’s Prayer should be more to us than beautiful prose that we learn to recite as a part of our church experience. According to Jesus, it is meant to be a model of how we should pray and, even though it isn’t all that long, not not one word is wasted. Each word is overflowing with meaning which we should not only lock into our minds, but that we should fully understand and experience in our hearts as well.

In fact, that’s exactly what I think Jesus means in the verses immediately preceding The Lord’s Prayer. Matthew, Chapter 8, Verse 7 and 8, say: “And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.”

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to look or sound like a pagan and thankfully we don’t have to if we follow Jesus’ lead and understand that God knows what we need before we even form the first word. This, alone, should change the way we pray.

Today, let’s look at the first sentence of The Lord’s Prayer.

Our Father

Right off the bat, Jesus bundles us up in a warm, cuddly security blanket and reminds us that we are praying not to just any father, but to OUR Father. His Father—the Father of Heaven and Earth—is also my father and your father. Let that really sink in. God is YOUR Dad. He calls you His child and longs for you to call Him Father.

Who Art in heaven,

I think Jesus skillfully added these words to remind us that our Father is above all and limitless in His power, authority and love. Even if you haven’t had a good father here on earth, most of us know what qualities make a good dad. Ponder for a moment about those qualities and realize that your Heavenly Father possesses all of them multiplied by infinity.

Hallowed Be Thy Name.

While “Our Father” reminds us who we are—God’s children—and his location in Heaven confirms that He is above all and without limit, “hallowed be thy name” reminds us who God is—the Creator of Heaven and Earth who is worthy of our praise. As humans, we can sometimes take for granted that which is closest to us, but with these words, Jesus prompts us to always acknowledge and bless our Father in Heaven with every ounce of honor, glory and praise we can muster.


My Prayer Today…

Oh, how I love you, my dear, sweet Father. Though I never got the chance to really know my earthly dad, I thank you for always being that safety net and security blanket in which I can rest. Thank you for your infinite love and for the knowledge that all things are within Your control and that there is absolutely no reason for me to worry, fret or fear. With all that I am, I praise You for all that You are—the Alpha and Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end. My Dad. Forever and ever. Amen and Ehmen.

Step-by-Step


As I stepped outside, the sun just peeking up from beneath the covers of the horizon, I couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief as a cool morning breeze greeted my skin.Beautiful flowers and driveway in neighborhood 7.2017

It has been really hot lately. And humid. So humid, in fact, that it feels like Mother Nature wraps me in a warm, wet blanket every time I step outdoors.

But not this morning and, as the cool air energized my spirit, I couldn’t help but send audible thank you’s heavenwards.

Man, it felt good to feel good. It felt even better to sense Jesus’ presence by my side. I’ll be the first to admit that I am not always in step with my Maker, but today was different. The heat and heaviness of life did not exist in this moment and off I went feeling light on my feet and loved in my heart.

I’m pretty sure I had a bounce in my step and I definitely had a smile on my face as I stepped from my driveway onto the asphalt in front of my house. I turned to the right as I have so many mornings, but instead of tucking earbuds into my ears, I decided to listen for God’s voice. Prayer, after all, isn’t always talking and presenting requests to God; it is a two-way conversation which requires us to sometimes close our mouths and open our ears.

He didn’t disappoint. As we strolled along, He began to whisper words of comfort and direction deep into my spirit. He told me that this time and situation were not a punishment, but rather a gift. That this was my time. Our time. A time for reconnection and reinvention. A time of complete trust and dependence on Him. Himdependence, if you will. The time and place our lives intersect; the very place in which His will meets my purpose.

His words washed over me like a comfortable garment. Oh, how long I have waited for this moment. The moment that I could truly take hold of this purpose and dream that He has placed within my heart. How I have longed to harvest what He has so carefully planted.

I breathed another sigh of relief as the mantle that had once felt too heavy to bear, now slid over me like a breeze and rested gently upon my skin. I was surprised at how soft and comfortable it felt. He spoke again. “This, my child, is what I mean by ‘my yoke is easy.’

At this word, I felt the urge to stop and, as I stood in the middle of the road, I noticed that I felt surprisingly relaxed, unlike two weeks earlier when I had felt too uncomfortable and restless to stand still, afraid that someone might see me and wonder what on earth I was doing. I had always felt that I needed to be moving or else I must be wasting time.

But not this day and, as I stood still, He led my eyes to a beautiful flower standing proudly in the distance amid trees and weeds. It was obviously not planted by human hands, but it was unbelievably breathtaking under the spotlight of the morning sun. How could I have not seen this before? How could I have missed this beautiful thing? And, as I stood there and questioned myself, He stood right beside me ready to answer. “See, my child,” I heard His Spirit whisper. “This is what I mean when I say ‘be still and know that I am God.’”

“You, my child, are to be like that flower amongst the weeds,” He continued. “You are to be a hope among the desolate. A flower for which I can bring the winds and scatter your seeds, giving birth to new growth and new hope in places you have yet to see and some you may never see with your own eyes.”

As His words trailed off, we resumed walking. He nudged me down a path I’ve never taken before; hard to believe since I’ve now lived in this neighborhood for a decade this very week. What a creature of habit I can be!

He whispered that sometimes we must get off the beaten path to discover new things about ourselves and about Him. Routine, He declared, can bring death to creativity and creativity is one of the most effective ways to express love and to reflect who He is. “Look around,” I heard Him say. “I am doing a new thing.”

Although the last time I had taken a new route, I had run into a not-so-nice canine, today, I felt a peace in my spirit as I walked along; probably because I was accompanied by the King of Kings. The trees were beautiful and the aroma of honeysuckle chased after me, encircling my senses and making my heart sing. I couldn’t help but smile as I caught myself humming. I was practically skipping along. It didn’t matter that I really didn’t know exactly where this path would lead or what I might find along the way. I was just enjoying being with The Father.

I felt like a young girl in love. I marveled at how blue the sky looked; how green the trees and grass; how beautiful the birds and animals; a little bit of heaven just a few steps off the same road I had traveled so many times. But, almost as soon as I had gotten lost in the newness and beauty of the excursion, I realized the new road had come to an end and I was now standing in a cul-de-sac. I wasn’t ready for it to be over. Had The Father not just said that we sometimes need to get out of our routine?

Sensing my disappointment, He answered quickly. “Just remember, child, even what feels like an ending will always be a setup for something greater when you are walking with Me. I use every step of every journey to teach you and mold you; to open your eyes a little more.”

I drank in His words, knowing in my heart that He was not just talking about this morning’s walk, but instead about the current concerns regarding my life and career. God has been so good to me through my latest situation and, today—almost two months after the unexpected and abrupt end of a 22 year career—I am actually quite enjoying learning to trust Him completely. I am finally making choices based on what I feel is God’s desire for me as opposed to my natural tendency to search for the secure and the safe.

Back on the main road now, I turned to head home. The morning was gaining momentum and the heat was rising just as fast as the sun. I picked up my pace, ready to get home before it got any hotter. Thank goodness this homestretch was shaded by the many majestic oaks for which the street was named.

Again, however, I felt another nudge to stop in the roadway. And while I felt a little more than distracted as sweat began to roll off my forehead, my eyes were drawn to a tree just a few feet away from me. What? Are you kidding me?

I stood in awe as right there in front of me–growing on a random tree on the fringe of the woods–was a grape vine loaded with young grapes. How had I not seen this before? The flower earlier on our walk was pretty far into the woods. Had the sun not shined its spotlight on it, I may have Grapes along side of road 7.2017missed it. But this vine, filled with clusters of grapes, was growing wild right along the path I have been walking for months. What’s more, I know grape vines. I have one just like it in my yard. In fact, He has used it to teach me throughout the decade I have lived here; so much so that I have often wondered if the grapevine is the reason God made this my home in the first place.

“You haven’t seen it before, because you weren’t looking.” God’s spirit said to mine. “To you, it was just another vine. It wasn’t until you really opened your eyes and the fruit started to emerge that you took notice. You, my child, are like this vine. You grow and prepare, I prune and tend, but, it isn’t until the fruit begins to materialize that people really begin to take notice. This is your time, child. Get to work and watch me multiply the fruits of your labor.”

Ahhhhhh. Happy sigh. Thank You, Jesus, for this walk; for this day; and, most of all, for this opportunity to be a part of Your plan and purpose. You gave Denny and I a very important assignment several years ago and I know that I know it is time to make it happen. Not ten years from now when I retire; not next year when things slow down. But now. I am honored, humbled and grateful. Help us, Lord, to stay in step with you as we continue to journey into your will and purpose.

We are ready, willing and—with your grace and help—I know that we are also well able. Amen and Ehmen.

For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:30

For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland. Isaiah 43:19

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10

“Be strong…Be strong…and get to work, for I am with you, says the Lord of Heavens Armies, My Spirit remains among you, just as I promise…So do not be afraid.” Haggai 2:4-5

Happy HIMdependence Day!


Happy HIMdependence Day! Final

The older I get, the more and more truth I find in the old saying, “time flies.” In fact, every year the old tick-tock seems to sprout bigger and faster wings, hijacking the moments and carrying each one of them far, far away.

If we’re lucky, the good ones land somewhere in the recesses of our memories to be retrieved and enjoyed many times in the future, while the not-so-good just keep floating into the dark abyss of time never to be recalled again. Better yet, they wind up in God’s toolbox where He repurposes them and turns each into something useful.

Actually, the truth is, God promises to always use our stuff. He says so many times throughout the bible and most expressly so in Romans 8:28: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him and who have been called according to his purpose.”

I hope you’ll notice that He says ALL things; not just some things, but ALL things. All He really wants in return is our unwavering love, another fact that He reminds us of throughout His word, such as in Matthew 22:3, when Jesus himself spoke the greatest commandment of all: “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.”

My prayer today is that all of us learn to love God just like that—with all our heart, soul and mind—for I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that it is that kind of love that leads to full trust, obedience and dependence on Him and full dependence leads to guaranteed fulfillment of the purpose for which our Father created us.

And that, my dear friends, will ultimately lead to the words we all long to hear straight from the lips of our Awesome God: “Well done, good and faithful servant. Well done!” Oh, how incredible that will be! I know it’s July 4th weekend here in the United States, but this year, I say let’s forget Independence Day and start celebrating Himdependence Day!

Amen and Ehmen!

Red Rover, Red Rover…


God, I hear You calling and I’m trying desperately to catch up with You; to walk beside You, to synchronize my steps with Yours. But, I’m continually running into obstacles.

As if on cue from satan himself, out of the shadows step the demons of doubt, fear and deprecation. red rover red rover croppedThey stand in front of me and block my path, arms locked together as if to engage me in a game of Red Rover.

“Red rover, red rover, send Brenda right over,” they chide, demonic laughter filling the air and assaulting my confidence and my faith. I can’t help but shiver as their Goliath-sized shadows hijack the sun’s warmth as well as its light. It becomes a battle just to see.

And, yet, their purpose is dreadfully clear. They have come to intimidate, threaten, frighten, scare, bully, coerce, terrorize, daunt and taunt me; to keep me frozen in place and far away from the purpose that You prepared for me before the first word of Creation was ever uttered.

“Red rover, red rover, send Brenda right over.”

My mind starts to reel; to unravel like a runaway spool of thread. I can either run away and live the rest of my life knowing that I gave up on You or I can face this thing head on.  I breathe deep and step back a few steps so that I can gain more momentum. There is no way I’m giving up, I mutter to myself. I will simply close my eyes and run with all my might, straight through their arms and into Yours.  

But, oh sweet Lord, the growls of my opponents are becoming louder and more obnoxious. And, as much as I want to walk with You–to fulfill my purpose–I can’t help but notice how grotesquely strong they look. How on earth will ever be break their hold, I ask myself, and, with no immediate answer, I shrink back in defeat without ever taking a step.

Defeated. Beaten. Overwhelmed and overcome.  I look down at my feet frozen in place as the enemies’ taunts crescendo in victory.  They win. Again.

The only thing I have left now is to pray. But I don’t even know where to start. I am so ashamed that I once again let the enemy defeat me, to hold me back. With the words “I’m sorry, Lord” rising up through my spirit, I begin to hear a still small voice. It is a warm, familiar and very quiet voice, but still somehow louder than the enemy’s raucous heckling. I immediately recognize that it is You.

“Get up, child,” You whisper sweetly. “Get up, but don’t try to run with all your might; this time, child, run with Mine.”

Your words, gentle and powerful at the same time, send a surge of encouragement and pronounced strength coursing through my spirit, mind and body. I rise up into a crouch position just like that of an Olympic sprinter and, with the sound of cheering angels ringing in my ears, I open my eyes. I see the band of demons still outstretched before me and I see their mouths moving. It sure looks like they are still talking trash, but the words filling the air about me are beautiful, peaceful, encouraging.

“It’s over, It’s over, Brenda come on over.”

I can no longer contain myself and, even though I still see the demons, I take off running toward the beautiful sound. And, as I run faster and harder than I dreamed possible, the heavenly cheers grow louder and louder and the demons grow smaller and smaller until I finally burst though their evil stronghold with the fortitude and power of a wrecking ball.

I hold up my arms in victory and as the dust settles around me, I see You standing there in all your Glory.Victory Photo 1-John-4-4-You-Are-Of-God-beige-copy You smile a knowing smile. You’ve been here all the while; waiting on me; cheering me on.

Lord, thank You, for never giving up on me, even when I give up on You; for having faith in me, when my own faith waivers. Thank You for sending Your spirit to intervene when the enemy lines look too strong to break through and for helping me to stand firm when I feel weak. Thank you, Lord, for Your willingness to keep reminding me that, with Your help, I DO have the strength and power to run full steam ahead into Your will and purpose, for it is there that You dwell and it is there I wish to dwell also.  With all that I am, I praise You. Amen and Ehmen.

 

It’s About the Journey. Fight For It.


June 13, 2017

 

Dear God,

Good morning and thank you for waking me up for this time with you. I realize I drag my feet sometimes dear godand I pray that you will help me to eagerly approach our time together. Once I am here, I am always blessed and filled. Yes, Lord, it is in You that I desperately want to invest, not my flesh’s desire to sleep or spend time on trivial things.

Today is a big day for me and for mom, both for the same and different reasons. I pray that you keep Your hands on both of us as with traverse what lies ahead, and that you guide not only us, but those people with whom we are dealing. My interview. Mom’s closing. My test results. Our dealings regarding mom’s chair. You know our individual needs, Lord, and I pray Your blessings and mercies over each of us, that Your will be done and Your Glory shine through us as we interact and react in ways that are reflective of who You are and who we are in You. Amen and Ehmen.

 

Dear Child,

I am so pleased with your desire to follow me and to fulfill the purpose and plan I have mapped out for you. But, I admonish you to follow through on the commitments you make to Me in your efforts to follow this path. As long as you are on earth, you will always have to fight against your flesh, but you have everything that you need to win this battle. You have Me.

Let’s start with the obvious. Your flesh wants to sleep or wants to wallow in bed and be lazy. You can’t alarm clock redcater to your flesh and meet with Me at the same time. But, how do you combat this? Follow the schedule we worked on yesterday. Go to bed on time. Don’t get caught up in all the things you still need to do. There will always be things to do and satan will happily try to keep you awake thinking about each one of them. Picture a hamster on a wheel. This is not necessary. You need proper rest to stay on your journey, but it is up to you to get that rest.

Physical exercise is another necessity. Go for a walk, child. Oh, how I have loved our walks together and I know that you have too. I am blessed when you include me and I am just waiting for you to receive the blessings that I desire to pour over you. I want to douse you in love, in wisdom and all the many beautiful facets of your inheritance now. You don’t have to wait until you get to heaven, my child. Heaven, after all, is not just a destination. Heaven is the journey you take with Me. Look around, take it all in and thank me. I love you, my dear child. Stay with me and know that I am with you always till the end of time…

 

 

Come to Order


June 12, 2017

 

Dear God…

blink

Dear Child,

It’s okay child. I know your brain and emotions are scrambled right now, but I am here and I know your heart. Just breathe. Speak My name when you feel overwhelmed or at a loss. Let’s come up with a schedule together. Something to keep you on track. Do not feel less because you need this. Order is necessary for all of life. Order, in fact, was the second most important ingredient in Creation, second only to love. Can you imagine a world with no order? What if the sun rose only when it felt like it? What if the moon and the stars were random about their appearance and nighttime blanketed the earth at unplanned times? Yes, child, everything must have an order to be successful in the long run. If it was and is important for all of Creation, it is important for you. Let’s start with your daily schedule and then we will continue to work on your schedule for fulfilling your calling and purpose. I am proud of you, child. You have a mission and a calling and I am so pleased that you desire them so. Together, we are unstoppable. You are unstoppable. Don’t ever forget that. And, if you do, just come back into My Presence where I can remind you. I’m always here, day and night, from beginning to end, creating your present and your future with beautiful mixture of love and order.

The Beautiful Order of Creation…

Genesis, Chapter 1:

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters.

And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. And God saw that the light was good. And God separated the light from the darkness. God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And there was evening and there was morning, the first day.

And God said, “Let there be an expanse[a] in the midst of the waters, and let it separate the waters from the waters.” And God made[b] the expanse and separated the waters that were under the expanse from the waters that were above the expanse. And it was so. And God called the expanse Heaven.[c] And there was evening and there was morning, the second day.

And God said, “Let the waters under the heavens be gathered together into one place, and let the dry land appear.” And it was so. 10 God called the dry land Earth,[d] and the waters that were gathered together he called Seas. And God saw that it was good.

11 And God said, “Let the earth sprout vegetation, plants[e] yielding seed, and fruit trees bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind, on the earth.” And it was so. 12 The earth brought forth vegetation, plants yielding seed according to their own kinds, and trees bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. 13 And there was evening and there was morning, the third day.

14 And God said, “Let there be lights in the expanse of the heavens to separate the day from the night. And let them be for signs and for seasons,[f] and for days and years, 15 and let them be lights in the expanse of the heavens to give light upon the earth.” And it was so. 16 And God made the two great lights—the greater light to rule the day and the lesser light to rule the night—and the stars. 17 And God set them in the expanse of the heavens to give light on the earth, 18 to rule over the day and over the night, and to separate the light from the darkness. And God saw that it was good. 19 And there was evening and there was morning, the fourth day.

20 And God said, “Let the waters swarm with swarms of living creatures, and let birds[g] fly above the earth across the expanse of the heavens.” 21 So God created the great sea creatures and every living creature that moves, with which the waters swarm, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. 22 And God blessed them, saying, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the waters in the seas, and let birds multiply on the earth.” 23 And there was evening and there was morning, the fifth day.

24 And God said, “Let the earth bring forth living creatures according to their kinds—livestock and creeping things and beasts of the earth according to their kinds.” And it was so. 25 And God made the beasts of the earth according to their kinds and the livestock according to their kinds, and everything that creeps on the ground according to its kind. And God saw that it was good.

26 Then God said, “Let us make man[h] in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”

27 So God created man in his own image,
    in the image of God he created him;
    male and female he created them.

28 And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” 29 And God said, “Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food. 30 And to every beast of the earth and to every bird of the heavens and to everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every green plant for food.” And it was so. 31 And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day.

Genesis, Chapter 2

Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the host of them. And on the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done. So God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it God rested from all his work that he had done in creation…

There is Direction in Connection


dear godJune 11, 2017

Dear God,

It’s been a tough few weeks. Well, actually, while the situation has been tough, my reaction to it has surprised me. Never in a million years would I expect to be this calm and, dare I say even excited, about being unemployed for the first time in almost four decades. I can see Your beautiful fingerprints all over this and I know that I know that THIS is the answer to my prayers and to the many prayers spoken on my behalf during a most tumultuous year. Finally, I am forced to settle into the faith that resides inside; to nestle into Your lap and watch you work. It’s time to put my faith where my mouth is; to practice what I preach; to trust You unconditionally. I am ready, but ask that You help me along the way. I am sure I will have my moments, but I know that with You by my side, I can do anything that You lead me to do. Help me, Lord, to remember that and to keep my eyes fixed on You as I continue this exciting journey into your will and my purpose. Amen and Ehmen.

Dear Child,

You are right to see this situation as an answered prayer and am pleased that you are committing to following my lead into your future. So many of my children, you included—despite desires otherwise—tend to see living by faith as a risky investment. The fact is I Am the only sure thing you will ever encounter prior to arriving in Heaven.

Jobs end. People leave. Money and things disappear. But, I, My dear child, will always be here and am the same loving parent as I was yesterday, am today and will be tomorrow.

Brenda, it has grieved My heart to see you go through such pain and suffering with your job. It especially saddened Me to lose connection with you as you struggled to keep your head above water this past year. This was never meant to be. Remember, My dear one, that nothing can ever separate us. I simply cannot and will not allow it.

Romans, 37-39: No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor principalities, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.…

And, so, here we sit. You are right where I want you, child—right beside Me. Close enough that you can feel My heartbeat and hear My voice. Your future of prosperity is wrapped in peace and your purpose contains more joy than you can imagine, and are all found in Me. I am the safety net for which you have always dreamed. All I ask of you is to connect with Me continually and to know that it is in that connection that I shall give you the direction and wisdom you seek. I love you, child

Tribe of Thorns


With time not my own this past year, I have let most of the flowerbeds around my house Thorny weedgo. Thisthorns week I decided to tackle them, one by one, starting with a particularly unruly looking bed alongside the fence.

The first thing I noticed as I surveyed the situation was a growing number of prickly vines. Armed with thorns, they infiltrated the fertile ground and stood watch over a second army of unwanted weeds.  They looked like green goliaths wielding tiny swords ready to pierce the skin of any intruder that threatened their mission to overtake the flowerbed.

Standing between and behind these evil, self-proclaimed soldiers were other thorny vines that had certainly seen better days. Brown and brittle, it was obvious that they were the senior ones amongst this tribe of thorns. I reached in to grab one of the weaker ones, but quickly pulled back as a river of red broke through the surface of my skin and rolled down my arm. Ughhh! I guess Grandpa had a little life in him after all. Ornery old thorn.

It is then that I heard God whisper deep into my spirit:

“It is not just the thorns of today that can hurt you, my child; the thorns of your past will continue to hurt you as long as you leave them unattended. You must suit up and face them; cut them off and throw them into a pile to be burned. They may look dead, brittle and harmless, but looks are deceiving. If you will let Me, dear child, I will help you tend the garden of your soul—pulling up the old and new vines of thorns and allowing the beautiful and the fruitful to flourish.”

Sigh. Thank You, Lord, for these special teaching moments and, above all, for loving me unconditionally. I ask You now, Father, to help me rid my soul of weeds and thorns, both the new and the old. I want nothing more than to be fruitful; a beautiful garden for which you are proud to call Your own. I am Yours. Amen and Ehmen.

Memories of Me


I walked into my mother’s old home and, amid the smell of must and dust, I boarded a time machine that would transport me back decades in a matter of moments. childhood-memories

First stop, my childhood bedroom. I reached deep into the closet and right back into history. My memory has always been sketchy at best, but laying my hands on fragments of my past brought a flood of memories of a happy and hopeful little girl that loved to make people laugh and smile. One that loved to play music, to draw and, yes, write.  It was nice to see her again.  

Not that I’ve changed that much in the past five decades. Sure, I’m older and–I hope–wiser, but I still have the same overall traits and passions. It is definitely the way God wired me and it was nice to be reminded that nothing, not even the tragedies and hardships that my family endured, could change that.

Yes, the man who took my father’s life when I was just 8 years old is responsible for turning what should have been colorful, beautiful childhood memories into a haze of black and gray; but today God saw to it that I got reintroduced to the good memories created by that happy-go-lucky, tree-climbing, music loving, creative little girl once again. Thank You, God, for giving me this gift. I will never know what might have been had my father been allowed to stay on this earth with us, but I do know that You have always and continue to have my best interest at heart and this little girl of Yours is very thankful.

Thank You for the bright memories and Your promise to always help me live my life in full, living color. I shall never stop pursuing You, Lord, and the purpose for which You created me. That’s my gift to you. I hope you like it.

Amen and Ehmen.