Why Me, Dear Lord?”


Writer’s note: The following is a written account of an actual experience I had July 25, 2014 while visiting my friend in Camrose, Alberta, Canada. I have no doubt that God has called me to write a story which began unfolding from the very moment she and I became friends over an internet scrabble game almost seven years ago. The miracles have been many as He continues to lay out His will and purpose for me, and, yet, the clearer it became, the more I struggled and fought it. Truth be told, I still struggle, but I want nothing more than to please Him and to complete this God-given assignment. And, I will, one step at a time. This website and these posts are one of those steps. Please pray for me to keep putting one foot, one word in front of the other until I get where He wants me. Thanks for reading.


As I sat on the couch in the sunroom of her new little old house, I watched as the trees swayed violently in the wind, her backyard framed by the darkest and most menacing clouds Camrose had seen in quite some time.

My thoughts began circling the very reason I had come to be in this very place at this very time. A call from God that had started some five and a half years ago; a beckoning to be His instrument in transforming darkness, tragedy and sadness into goodness, light and eternity for those who know and love him now as well as those who have yet to discover Him; for those, such as myself, called to fulfill His purposes on earth.

On a spiritual level, I was more than honored to have been chosen, but on a human level, I was completely overwhelmed. I quickly felt a storm—a storm of the same proportions of what raged outside –begin to rise up from the deepest reaches of my soul. Inside and out, the darkness mounted up from the horizon as if all the demons in hell were readying for battle.

From the genesis of time, Satan has always had a knack for knowing just when to attack. And—sensing that the doubts and insecurities he had planted within me had begun to take root— the time had apparently come. Rapidly, he and his band of demons advanced into the heavenly realms causing the world beneath and within to grow dim.

“Why me? Why this very difficult story and journey? Surely, there is someone else that is far more able? I am not worthy. I don’t want to let you down; please, please help me to understand. Show me what to do,” I pleaded to the heavens as the clouds continued to loom darker and darker.

Finally, the sounds of battle began. Thank God, I thought to myself, the enemy has obviously met resistance. Deafening thunder rolled and echoed as God’s angels hurled lightning bolts at our demonic aggressors, setting the dark sky on fire with flashes of hope and promise. It wasn’t long before I realized that the good guys were already winning, just as they always do. And, just as He has always promised, from the darkest of circumstances, the living waters of Heaven began to rain down on the earth and inside my very soul.

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The Ultimate Valentine


amen and ehmen!

be-mine-heart-for-amenandehmen

Whether you are single or paired on this Valentine’s Day, this is a day we celebrate the very heartbeat of God: LOVE!

Remember what Jesus told us in Matthew 22: 34-40: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and most important commandment. The second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets depend on these two commandments.”

And, as far as Valentine’s go, you can’t get any sweeter or more perfect than our precious and glorious Lord who loves us beyond compare, without condition, forever and ever. And He’s all yours for the asking.

If you haven’t yet, why not today? The day of LOVE.

Just say something like this:

“Lord, I don’t necessarily understand it all and I’m not sure what to do next, but I do…

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2017: A “But God” Kind of Year


As I sit and stare at the last page of my 2017 calendar, I can’t help but notice how free the day looks. The burden and weight of all the other days are gone, crumpled in the trashcan below; days lived, some happy, some sad and some—more than I like to admit—chalked up to just another day.

But, I realized as I studied this scene, that what looks like trash is actually a beautiful work of art,

Look up and breath

My New Year’s Resolution for 2018!

each torn calendar page representing yet another day that God loved, cared for, provided for and sustained me.

No doubt, 2017 has been a year of transition and trying times. A year of ripped off Band-Aids, shrinking comfort zones and vanishing safety nets. A year filled with frontline assaults on my income, my health and the health of many of my loved ones and friends.  A year that could have easily derailed me and thrusted me into a downward spiral of depression and hopelessness…BUT GOD.

The Bible often introduces similar scenes that are recorded on its pages with these two simple, but powerful words, “But God.”

Beautiful words on which our Lord and Savior rides like a knight in shining armor. Words that have changed the trajectory of the lives of men and women throughout history and have breathed new life throughout time. Words that have rescued, sustained, protected and revived entire nations and individuals, myself included, more times that can be counted.

Yes, 2017 has definitely been a “But God” year for me.

Today, I find it refreshing to recap those “But God” moments as a reminder of how very much God loves me and is always in my corner; a timeline of sorts that proves His unyielding affection and unwavering presence in my life. A timeline that breathes a revival of refreshed purpose, hope and life.

I started 2017 entrenched in a job that was literally sucking the life out of me. Eighty-plus-hour weeks filled with more 20-hour days than I care to recall. Youthful supervisors who made no attempt to hide their agenda to run off anyone who had been in place prior to them. Pay-cuts, complete and utter disrespect, constant patronization, and a schedule of brutal and non-sustainable hours which wreaked havoc on the physical and emotional health of those targeted.

BUT GOD…He pulled me from the wreckage and gave me a new beginning.

In May, when the earth was springing into its annual rebirth, the job that I had held onto for far longer than I should, suddenly came to an end. The writing was on the wall and my self-constructed safety net was in the trash. And, yet, I had peace. Fear and worry danced all around me, but never really took ahold of me. I felt His Presence and knew in my heart that what looked like an ending was actually a beginning, a gift from the Almighty Father in Heaven. I couldn’t have survived what that job had become.

BUT GOD…He sustained me and provided for me.

 I spent the next six months without an income to speak of, but never once did I go without. Once again, fear and worry danced all around me, but never, ever got a grip on me. He sustained me. Successful appeals, found money and odd jobs and projects seemed to fall in my lap as I met each month’s bills on time. And while the job market for a woman in her mid-50s is far from burgeoning, God paved the way for a new beginning; a jumpstart on a self-employed career which promises more time, more energy and, eventually, more money to fulfill the purposes He has set before me. I know this deep down at the very core of my being.

Of course, now unable to threaten me with my job, the enemy had to find another area of weakness and soon began to launch attack after attack on my health. For the past six months, it has been one thing after another and my immune system has struggled to keep up. Fear, worry and hopelessness have danced all around me and, I must admit, have occasionally drawn me in. With my body broken, my spirit often tried to follow.

BUT GOD…refused to give up on me, offering me the time and means for healing as He continues to build me up for a purpose-fulfilling future.

For years now, He has been leading me toward changes that I fully believe will re-set and revive my body, healing present ailments and staving off future ones. Before, I didn’t have the time or the willpower to comply, but I have slowly come to realize that, once again, what the enemy means for harm, God uses for good. It is clear that I have to make changes if I want to live the life He has for me and He is now giving me the time and I am slowly gaining the willpower to do so. Yes, hope is on the horizon and 2018 promises to be a breakout and breakthrough year.

Thank you, God, for sustaining me and transforming a tumultuous year into one of hope, promise and confidence for the future. Thank You for replacing my innate tendency to worry and fret with an awareness of Your presence and the confident assurance that You are always and in all ways looking out for me.

Thank You for showing me once again that a life fueled by faith is a life filled with blessings and hope. Though I don’t know exactly what 2018 holds, I can step into it with the confidence that You are already there with arms of protection, hands of provision and a heart full of love.

Happy New Year everyone! Remember that God not only loves you, but He is FOR you. With Him on our side, 2018 has no choice but to be epic. Amen and Ehmen!

Happy_New_Year_2018_Greeting

It Is Not What Mary Knew, but WHO She Knew


To God be the glory…

amen and ehmen!

As night fell, it took the sun’s warmth with it. Mary shivered and winced nativity artfrom the pain. The contractions had begun. The time was nigh and Joseph knew that he had to find a place for his betrothed to give birth to their son, God’s son, the savior of the world. Wrapping his cloak around her shoulders, he reassured her that he would find a place for them to spend the night. She knew it was unlikely as every single place they stopped was filled to capacity; with scores of people–people like them, who had traveled to Bethlehem, to be counted in the census. Caesar had decreed it and nobody was willing to disobey Caesar.

Still, even with the odds stacked against them finding a warm and cozy bed on this particular night, she trusted Joseph and even more so God, even if it meant going through the pains of…

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Oh Holy Night…


Merry Christmas Eve, everyone! I just wanted to share this video of David Phelps singing Oh Holy Night, one of my all-time favorite Christmas songs. I stumbled upon it and have now watched it a half-dozen times and have yet to get through it with dry eyes. If ever the Holy Spirit was captured on video, this is it! Enjoy and Merry Christmas to you and yours. The Savior is Born! Amen and Ehmen!

Oh, Holy Night

Oh, holy night
The stars are brightly shining
It is the night of the dear Savior’s birth

Long lay the world in sin and error pining
Till he appeared and the soul felt its worth
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn

Fall on your knees, oh, hear the angel voices
Oh, night divine, oh, night, when Christ was born
Oh, night divine, oh, night divine

Led by the light of faith, serenely beaming
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand
So led by light of a star, sweetly gleaming
Here come the wise men from Orient land

The King of Kings lay thus in lowly manger
In all our trials born to be our friend
Truly He taught us to love one another
His law is love and His gospel is peace

Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother
And in His name all oppression shall cease
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we
Let all within us praise His holy name!

Oh, Holy Night… Merry Christmas to us all! May your Christmas be filled with HIS Presence!

Unwrap The Presence…


the manger

Christmas.

Oh, what a joyful time.

For it is the birth of our very Lord and Savior that we celebrate. Our Lord and Savior, the Son of God, who left the majestic splendor of heaven and came into the world to become an infant, a man.

At a birth that you would have expected to be surrounded by pomp and circumstance, the circumstance was quite different. Born to a frightened teenager and laid in a feeding trough shared with him by sheep, camels and donkeys, Jesus lived as a man and died as a man to save us from our sins and give us the promise of eternal life in Heaven with JesusReasonForSeasonSD1Him and the Father.

Jesus is the reason for the season and the greatest gift any of us will ever be offered. He truly is the gift that keeps on giving…until the very end of the age and beyond.

Merry Christmas! May you unwrap His Presence today and everyday. Amen and Ehmen.

Every life matters, every purpose precious.


purpose image from internetDid you know that you are just as important to God as anyone that lives or has ever lived? He loves you just the same as He loves the preacher, the president, the Pope or even one of His 12 disciples.

Doesn’t matter who you are or what you’ve done. He loves you the same. No more, no less.

And did you know that the purpose and plan that He has for your life is just as important to Him as the purpose and plan He had for Noah, for Moses, for David and anyone else that has ever lived?

The purposes and plans He has for you are just as important to Him as the purposes and plans He has for the famous evangelist, the respected world leader, a well-loved purpose image quote from fred buechnerChristian musician.

Not one of us should waste another minute selling ourselves short or underestimating our value to Him and His Kingdom, for we never know when our minutes on earth are up.

Every life matters. Every purpose matters. Always has. Always will.

Take your place in His story and know to the depths of your soul that His story is the ultimate happily-ever-after story. And, best of all, it’s already written.

And the Word of God says…

“But I have raised you up for this very purpose, that I might show you my power and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth” (Exodus 9:16).

“I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted” (Job 42:2). 

“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails” (Proverbs 19:21).

“The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out” (Proverbs 20:5).

“Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose” (Philippians 2:12-13).

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).

“He has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace” (2 Timothy 1:9).

In the Footsteps of Faith


November 2, 2017, 6:30 AM

Dear God,

Good morning. I know it’s been a long while since I have met You here. I’m not sure why. My faith in you has not wavered during this time of transition—not during my time of unemployment nor during the months of illness the enemy left on my family’s doorstep. Once he realized he could no longer use my job against me and that I was happily trusting You for my career and my financial well-being, it seems as if he attacked something else to bring weakness—the health of my mom and myself.

I won’t lie, it has been a tough, tough three months. But, thanks to our own prayers and thankyougodthe prayers of some faithful friends as well as our unyielding faith in You, things are turning around. Not that I expected anything less. The truth is, I never doubted You, but I also haven’t taken the time to thank You over these last months; to praise You during the storms.

So, today, before I breathe even one more breath, let me say for the record, thank You, Lord, for the storms that remind us that You are always here to pick up the pieces to make us whole again. Thank You for Your healing touch, Your constant provision, Your unwavering patience, and, most of all, Your unfailing and outrageous love. I will never deserve it, but I am ever so grateful for it. Please forgive me for not saying that more often.

I love you, Abba Father. Help me once again to synchronize my heartbeat with yours. Orchestrate the breath of my lungs and the steps of my feet so that I return to my purpose with a renewed sense of passion and energy. I need You more than ever. The world needs You more than ever. Thank You for being here.

It is in Your glorious name and the name of Your precious Son that I pray. Amen and Ehmen.

Dear Child,

Your faith pleases me. In this world where satan appears to run amok, faith and belief in Me is the only thing that can heal the wounds and hurts that his evil doing brings. I am proud that you have endured the hardships of this past year with such faith, grace and endurance as it is such faith, grace and endurance that brings my promises full circle.

Read Hebrews, Chapter 11, my child, and stay encouraged. Now more than ever, I need My children to continue clearing and promoting the trails that your forefathers and mothers have already blazed by the same faith, grace and endurance. Learn from them. It is all of you—those from the past, the present and the future—that will, when the time is right, bring perfection to the entire human race for the remainder of eternity.

hebrews 11.40

Hebrews, Chapter 11:

Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. Through their faith, the people in days of old earned a good reputation.

By faith we understand that the entire universe was formed at God’s command, that what we now see did not come from anything that can be seen.

It was by faith that Abel brought a more acceptable offering to God than Cain did. Abel’s offering gave evidence that he was a righteous man, and God showed his approval of his gift. Although Abel is long dead, he still speaks to us by his example of faith.

It was by faith that Enoch was taken up to heaven without dying—“he disappeared, because God took him.” For before he was taken up, he was known as a person who pleased God. And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to Him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him.

It was by faith that Noah built a large boat to save his family from the flood. He obeyed God, who warned him about things that had never happened before. By his faith Noah condemned the rest of the world, and he received the righteousness that comes by faith.

It was by faith that Abraham obeyed when God called him to leave home and go to another land that God would give him as his inheritance. He went without knowing where he was going. And even when he reached the land God promised him, he lived there by faith—for he was like a foreigner, living in tents. And so did Isaac and Jacob, who inherited the same promise. Abraham was confidently looking forward to a city with eternal foundations, a city designed and built by God.

It was by faith that even Sarah was able to have a child, even though she was barren and was too old. She believed that God would keep his promise. And so a whole nation came from this one man who was as good as dead—a nation with so many people that, like the stars in the sky and the sand on the seashore, there was no way to county them.

All these people died still believing what God had promised them. They did not receive what was promised, but they saw it from a distance and welcomed it. They agreed that they were foreigners and nomads here on earth. Obviously people who say such things are looking forward to a country they can call their own. If they had longed for the country they came from, they could have gone back. But they were looking for a better place, a heavenly homeland. That is why God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.

It was by faith that Abraham offered Isaac as a sacrifice when God was testing him. Abraham, who had received God’s promises, was ready to sacrifice his only son, Isaac, even though God had told him, “Isaac is the son through whom your descendants will be counted.” Abraham reasoned that if Isaac died, God was able to bring him back to life again. And in a sense, Abraham did receive his son back from the dead.

It was by faith that Isaac promised blessings for the future to his sons, Jacob and Esau. It was by faith that Jacob, when he was old and dying, blessed each of Joseph’s sons and bowed in worship as he leaned on his staff.

It was by faith that Joseph, when he was about to die, said confidently that the people of Israel would leave Egypt. He even commanded them to take his bones with them when they left.

It was by faith that Moses’ parents hid him for three months when he was born. They saw that God had given them an unusual child, and they were not afraid to disobey the king’s command.

It was by faith that Moses, when he grew up, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter. He chose to share the oppression of God’s people instead of enjoying the fleeting pleasures of sin. He thought it was better to suffer for the sake of Christ than to own the treasures of Egypt, for he was looking ahead to his great reward. It was by faith that Moses left the land of Egypt, not fearing the king’s anger. He kept right on going because he kept his eyes on the one who is invisible. It was by faith that Moses commanded the people of Israel to keep the Passover and to sprinkle blood on the doorposts so that the angel of death would not kill their firstborn sons.

It was by faith that the people of Israel went right through the Red Sea as though they were on dry ground. But when the Egyptians tried to follow, they were all drowned.

It was by faith that the people of Israel marched around Jericho for seven days, and the walls came crashing down.

It was by faith that Rahab the prostitute was not destroyed with the people in her city who refused to obey God. For she had given a friendly welcome to the spies.

How much more do I need to say? It would take too long to recount the stories of the faith of Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, David, Samuel, and all the prophets. By faith these people overthrew kingdoms, ruled with justice, and received what God had promised them. They shut the mouths of lions, quenched the flames of fire, and escaped death by the edge of the sword. Their weakness was turned to strength. They became strong in battle and put whole armies to flight. Women received their loved ones back again from death.

But others were tortured, refusing to turn from God in order to be set free. They placed their hope in a better life after the resurrection. Some were jeered at, and their backs were cut open with whips. Others were chained in prisons. Some died by stoning, some were sawed in half, and others were killed with the sword. Some went on wearing skins of sheep and goats, destitute and oppressed and mistreated. They were too good for this world, wandering over deserts and mountains, hiding in caves and holes in the ground.

All these people earned a good reputation because of their faith, yet none of them received all that God had promised. For God had something better in mind for us, so that they would not reach perfection without us.

Follow in the footsteps of faith, my dear child…We are counting on you.

Prayers for Las Vegas


What possesses a man to open fire on thousands of innocent people; people who were out for an Pray for Others Imageevening filled with music and fun?

For some, it was a bucket-list kind of evening of enjoying and living life to the fullest…until the gunfire started.

Shots. Rapid fire. Deafening, relentless shots filled the air; hundreds of life-robbing rounds piercing some, grazing some and sending thousands of others clambering for safety.

When the dust settled, at least 58 were killed and 500-plus were injured. The man responsible apparently turned the gun on himself before authorities reached him. There was no immediate clues as to what would possess him to commit such a senseless and heinous crime.

And, yet, I know exactly what possessed him. It couldn’t be more obvious than if he had left a note or pre-recorded video.

This is, without a doubt, the workmanship of Satan himself. His evil fingerprints are all over it. Not to say the man that pulled the trigger isn’t guilty. He is. Like far too many people living on God’s green earth today, he was a willing participant in Satan’s evil bidding. He had obviously checked out of humanity, surrendering to the wrong side of the continuing war between good and evil; a mere puppet whose monstrous actions will never make sense.

The only thing the rest of us can do is get on our knees and ask God to be with those affected by this evil deed and to remember that, while it may look dark and grim at the moment, the final battle between good and evil has already been won. We already know the ending; we already know the good guys win.

Our job is to not let Satan have even one day of glory. We must fight back.  We must pray harder and shine our lights even brighter than ever before knowing that God will turn what was meant for evil for good.  Be a part of that good.

Pray.  Pray as individuals. As the church. As a nation. As a world. As God’s creation.

Pray intently. Pray loud. Then, pray even louder. Pray until Satan can’t stand all the noise.

Go back to hell, Satan. You’re not welcome here.

In This Case, Nothing is Everything


Dear God,

I will make my written words few as I have cried out to You in fervent, but silent prayer all morning. Thank You for always being there when I open my eyes and sincerely seek you. Your presence is felt in a very real way and I am beyond thankful. Help me to stay aware of Your presence Lord, day in and day out, no matter what. I can’t do it alone, nor do I want to. I love you, dear sweet Savior, and I praise You for all that You have done and continue to do for me. Thank You for loving me, despite my many shortcomings; despite having to remind me of the same things over and over. Thank You for being patient and kind and for never, ever failing me. Thank You for being Love. Teach me, Father, to be the same. Amen and Ehmen!

My child,

I am here. I’m always here. Unfortunately, you, as a human have flesh and that flesh gets in your way. It creates a barrier of sorts; a smoke-screen that Satan happily uses to send Nothing Can Separate Photoyou scurrying down paths you were never meant to follow. It’s his only move. Because he knows that nothing—absolutely nothing above or beneath—can or will ever make Me leave you, his one and only game plan is to lure you as far away as possible and to cause so much chaos and confusion that you are temporarily blinded. Temporarily is the key word to focus on, child, as Satan will never be allowed to take you from me. No matter where you go—no matter how dark, how deep, how dank or desolate—as soon as you call My Name, your eyes will be opened and you will once again see Me right beside you. Please never forget this child. Yes, Satan has powers, but your powers through me are much stronger and NOTHING—except your own choice—can separate us. Spend some time today bathing in these words in Romans. Soak in them. Let them soften you flesh, permeate your blood vessels and pulsate through your heart and body. It is medicine for your soul.

Romans 8:35-39

“Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean He no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? As the Scriptures say, ‘For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.’ No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ who loved us.

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angles nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—NOT even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.”