Writer’s Note: Scrolling through my old journals, I stumbled upon this diary entry from 2010. It is a personal account of a difficult, but precious conversation I had with my mother; a conversation that changed the way I would forever look at her and one that really drove home the importance of sharing The Good News of Jesus Christ with everyone that you can, most especially the ones that you love.
March 6, 2010
So, I had a nice, long talk with my mom today. I told her about the letter I wrote forgiving the man that 
killed my dad. She was surprisingly open. For the first time, she talked to me like I was just a friend. For the first time, I saw her as a wife and mother who lost a husband, and very tragically so. The tears that filled her eyes and spilled gently out onto her softly aged face transported me back to a time that I was then too young to experience.
She told me how his stomach had been completely destroyed by the shot from the sawed off shot gun. She told me how she held vigil in the hospital hallway outside his intensive care room, day and night, for the three weeks he lay in the hospital. She told me of all the doctors who went in and out of his room and of all the friends, acquaintances, doctors and nurses who sat with her, prayed with her and offered help in every fashion.
She told me about the two things he managed to say to her: the first, right after he was shot, he said “I didn’t know” meaning he did not know the guy had a gun; and the second, not long before he died and after the doctor warned her that he would not know her, she had gone in and placed her hands over his and he opened his eyes and said “I love you”. That was the last time she would hear him speak. The only other words she knew him to speak during those three weeks were to my brother, Gary. To him, he said, “Take care of your mama and the girls.” By now, tears were flowing down my own face and, as I write this, they are flowing again. For the first time, I can actually “see” it, like a very sad movie playing out in my head.
The worst part of all is that I am still left to wonder if my father knew Jesus as his personal Savior. Will I get to see him again, but, more importantly, will my mother get to again see the man that she loved with all her heart and who, to this day, 40+ years after his death, remains faithful to? My mother said that he had gone to church with her time and again and he was indeed a good man, but, truth be told, she just wasn’t sure if he ever did business with God. They never talked about it.
Now, it is time to share the letter I wrote to my dad’s killer with my brothers and sister. I simply can’t stand by and let another loved one pass from this earth without knowing that they have accepted Christ as their Lord and Savior.
I can forgive the man who killed my dad, but I would not be able to forgive myself if one of them leaves this earth unsaved.
Today was a good day. I fell in love with my dad who spoke of love and concern for his family in his last words and I fell in love with my mom who stood by her husband in life and in death.
Amen and Ehmen.
It’s Yours For The Asking…
We are all His children and He really wants a relationship with each and every one of us. He loves you and He loves me with all His heart and He is just a simple prayer away. But, you have to take the step and ask Him into your heart. He’s not going to do it without an invitation from you. You yourself have to acknowledge that Jesus is your Lord and Savior and that He died on the cross so that you can have eternal life.
You yourself have to accept Him and invite Him into your heart. When you’re ready, you just have to say a prayer something like this. It doesn’t have to be word for word and you don’t even have to understand it all. And, you don’t have to be perfect, for no one on earth is perfect. Just say something like this:
“Dear God, I know that I am a sinner. Please forgive me for my sins. I believe that your son, the Lord Jesus Christ, died to pay for my sins and I trust Him now as my personal Lord and Savior. I ask Him to come into my life. Amen.”
It’s that simple. If you pray this prayer and truly accept the Lord Jesus as your personal savior, you can be assured of going to heaven. No matter what you did on earth; no matter what you did in your past.
For more information, I like this website for answering questions about God. You are loved and you are in my prayers.
drift…embrace this peaceful journey being offered to me…a journey of reflection.
each one of your children who are in special need today. Instruct them to fight for those sons and daughters who simply need a chance to breathe and regroup. Thank you, God, for understanding that even those of us who clothe ourselves in your armor still need time to replenish every once in a while. Your Word says to ask and it shall be given. So, again, God, I ask you to send forth your angels to fight for those in need today. And send forth angels in the way of friends and family to help on an earthly level as well, be it to help with things that need to be done or just to love on and pray for them as I am doing right now. Let them feel YOUR love and YOUR presence. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen and Ehmen!
green grass, blue skies or even gray skies made tolerable by the smell of sweet rain. Today, I will listen for the love songs of birds, the breeze making its way through the leaves on the trees out back, the pitter patter of rain on my favorite picture window. It’s funny how rain can be so melancholy, peaceful and refreshing all at the same time. Today, I will breathe in deeply and take time to enjoy the scents of summer—even the cow poo in the field across the way as I know that that cow poo eventually fertilizes a field of beautiful green grass and wildflowers. Today, I will stop to feel the gentle breeze as it caresses my skin, the warmth of the sunshine embracing my soul or, if the day brings it, the cleansing rain on my face. Today, I will intentionally look for the Presence of God and realize that all these things are His love letters to me; tangible proof of an infinite, unyielding and unfailing love.
motorcycle to which I quickly quipped that I got mine on my riding lawnmower. And while I said it jokingly, it’s really very true. Indeed, sometimes God speaks to us in the strangest places—and, for me, it is quite often over the roaring of a lawnmower engine. Perhaps He finds that it is easier for him to “cut” to the chase as the rapid revolutions of the engine and blades drown out all the other noise of my world and I become more focused on Him and His creation. It really is a special time during which, over the years, I have received a lot of great insight.
amen and ehmen! 