A 911 Call To The Heart



As I sit here in tear-soaked silence, the pain and heartbreak is still as real as it was 18 years ago.

BUT, as bad as it hurts, I find myself thanking God for bringing good out of even the worst circumstances.

Those beautiful souls did not die in vain as many, like me, made our first steps back to God that day.

Amid the rubble of our lives, I finally looked up and began searching for the right church for myself and my then 8-year-old daughter. Not only are we still members of that church today, but my daughter is on staff there and we are both living out our God-given purposes.

As we continue to answer that 911 call to our hearts with passion and purpose, I  pray we make a real difference for the Kingdom of God. I pray we all do, in honor of the Almighty as well as all of His children who He welcomed home on September 11, 2001.

We shall never forget….

 

“I know his name, child, and he knows Mine.”


               

Writer’s Note: Today marks four years since my brother drew his last breath, and three since I wrote this post. Today as I spent some time thinking about him and reminiscing, I felt comforted all over again. Please, if you have not accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior, consider taking that step today; if not for yourself, for your loved ones. Don’t take a chance on leaving them to wonder if they will see you again, for that grief is a grief like no other.


 

September 7, 2016               

One year ago today, I heard your voice for the last time.

I miss you, dear brother.

Truth is, I have missed you every day since you left us, but as we move closer and closer to the one year anniversary of your death, it has been especially hard.

               Gary  May 9,2010 While the grief process continues and I have taken many strolls down memory lane remembering your life, these last few days have found me especially reflective of your death. Those were dark days, brother. Painful days. It was so hard to watch mama as she realized she had to let you go. No mother should ever have to bury her child.

                It was hard to watch the interaction between you and Karen. It was obvious that she was the love of your life. As dim as your eyes became, the soul-depth love you had for her burst forth like a beacon in the darkest of nights. It was heartbreaking and heartwarming all at the same time.

It was hard for all of us who loved you to say goodbye, but we didn’t have a choice. All of our days on this earth are numbered and, ready or not, one day the last day will come for all that have ever drawn breath. Still, I can promise you none of us were ready for it to be your time.

At the time, the worst part of it all, Gary, was not really knowing your spiritual condition; not being sure that you had accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior. Not being sure that you would soon enjoy everlasting life with our Father in Heaven. I know that it was said many times right before and after your passing that a man’s faith is a personal matter and that one doesn’t have to talk about it, but that just isn’t true. No words will ever be able to express the extreme heartache not knowing levies on the hearts of those who struggle with the thought of never seeing their loved one again.

It is the same wrenching heartache that I felt a few years prior when I, as an adult, began to deal with the tragic death of our daddy decades before. In talking to mom one day, I discovered that at the time of dad’s death, she wasn’t certain of his salvation. Like you, he was a man with a heart of gold and a man of great respect and humble attitude, but, unfortunately, they had never talked about it. Having been only eight when dad was taken from us, I never really got to know him. I can only hope for another chance on the other side.

But, back to you. Your last days were heavily laden with prayer, by me, by family, by friends and the church. Though I didn’t really get the opportunity to talk to you directly about God, our cousin Patty did. Still, we weren’t sure where you stood and that hurt more than anything. But, then something happen. I was getting ready for your memorial service. It had been an emotionally charged week and I really wasn’t thinking about anything. My mind and emotions were taking a well-needed time-out when, out of the blue at exactly 7:53 a.m. September 10, 2015, the following words floated into my mind. As clear as the spoken word I heard Him say: “I know his name, child, and he knows Mine.”

Now, Gary, that’s not a phrase that I had ever heard and I knew instantly that it was the still small voice of our ever-loving God. Powerful words swaddled in that unsurpassed comfort and peace that can only come from Him. I just knew and it’s all I needed.

I was so excited and relieved that when got to your memorial service, the first person I hunted down was Patty; and when we hugged, I excitedly whispered the good news. She, too, began to grin from ear to ear.

“Brenda,” she told me. “I prayed all night and all the way up here, begging God to show either you or me that Gary was with Him.”

Sigh. What a beautiful gift. I can’t tell you how much easier it made it to say goodbye. You know it rained during your service that day and I can just remember thinking that it was apropos. In fact, I think it was Heaven’s way of helping us mourn our loss while celebrating its gain.

Now, what about dad?

Though I have spent the last several years hoping and feeling like he is probably with you in our eternal home in Heaven, I have never received such certain reassurance as I did with you. Until this week. Enter another cousin. This one, Debbie, one of Uncle Don’s daughters. She had read a recent post about how hard it was to hear that daddy’s salvation was also unknown to those who loved him most. It spurred a memory that she shared, probably a nudge from God, if I had to guess.

As you know, Uncle Don also left this earth way too early. He died in a car accident when he was in his early 30s, leaving behind a beautiful bride and two beautiful young daughters. Daddy always made sure to stay connected to them and our families were quite close, I am told.

What I didn’t know was that Aunt Vera Lee, Uncle Don’s widow, had spent some time in the hospital visiting daddy during his last days. Debbie relayed a sweet story that her mom had shared before she passed about how they sang a hymn together and that daddy had been the one to start the singing. She also relayed how she had felt the presence of Uncle Don in the room with them, so heavy, in fact, that she said she actually spoke his name out loud.

“Brenda, Mama said that she was convinced that she felt Daddy Don’s presence so strongly because he had come to show Uncle Billy the way,” my dear cousin wrote in a note this week. “And we all know the devil doesn’t send someone to comfort and guide you on your journey home.”

Sigh. Another beautiful gift. We will see you both again! And Uncle Don, who I never knew. And Grandma. And Granddaddy. And our beautiful aunts, Aunt Hazel and Aunt Vera Lee. You are all there waiting for the rest of us and celebrating every moment with our Awesome and Beautiful Creator. I can only imagine, but boy oh boy do I enjoy imagining that day!

But, until then, I still miss you. And, yes, there are still tears, but they are no longer all sorrowful. They are also intermingled with tears of joy knowing you are enjoying everlasting life and that one day we will meet again.

Until then, to you and all of our loved ones previously departed, much love from earth to heaven.

Amen and Ehmen.

Knock, Knock…


Note: I hesitated to post this personal prayer journal entry from earlier this month, telling myself that it probably wasn’t of interest to anyone else. However, in reality, I think it was more that I was waiting to see if He would really show up as I set out to wholeheartedly seek His face; if He would really open the door when I knocked.

Spoiler alert: He DID!

Just as He always does and will again and again until the end of time, He SHOWED UP and SHOWED OUT and then some.  My asthma is back under control; I am writing again; and the voice and miracles of the Holy Spirit have resumed. Woo Hoo! More on that in future blog posts. God is so very good, y’all. All the time, He is so very good. –Brenda.


ask and it will be given scripture image

August 5, 2019

Lord, I feel Your Presence this morning.

Actually, I’ve been becoming more and more aware of Your closeness over this past week or so. Thank you for sending the D-group Bible Study girls into my life. I see You working throughout the entire group and know that You are using each of us individually and together for great things.

Thank you, too, for the lady you sent to lay hands on me and pray for me in Lowe’s while standing in the air filter section. I know THAT was you. You knew I was struggling greatly with asthma, but she didn’t. She just showed up and the next thing I know she was speaking healing over me.

Give me the unyielding faith to BELIEVE that healing is already mine. I’m already feeling better. Keep me in this faith space, Lord.

Help me, too, to get back on track with my writing and to be obedient. I miss those times of miracles, just from listening to Your voice and following each prompting of the Holy Spirit. I want that again, Lord. I want YOU, Lord.

Your Word says ask and you will receive. I’m asking, Lord.

Your word says seek and you shall find. I’m seeking, Lord.

And, Your Word says, knock and it will be opened to you. I’m knocking, Lord. I’m ready to beat down the door, in fact.

I love you, God. With all that I am, I love You and praise You! Thank you for loving me without cease.

Amen and Ehmen.


And in my spirit, these are the words that I heard…

Dear Child,

You are so very special to Me.

I wish that all of you knew just how much you mean to Me. You are each a pivotal part of all Creation.

I need you to understand that, Child. You are NOT an accident and you are absolutely NOT insignificant. You and everything that I purposed for You is critical in bringing My Kingdom to fruition.

You must take that seriously, Child, but don’t take yourself so seriously. There is a huge difference.

Stay in MY Presence. I’m always with you. Listen for My Voice at all times. Even when it does not make sense to you, be obedient.

This is the ONLY way you will ever move My Purpose for you along. You cannot do any of it alone, but you can and will do it with My help.

Oh, the journey we will take together, Child. You just don’t know. The joy. The love. The peace. The impact. It’s going to be GOOD, my dear one.

I can’t wait to share it with you.

Have a beautiful day and take the time to just breathe it all in. You are healed.

Proverbs 2. 1-6

The Perfect “Peace” of Advice


July 12, 2019

Dear God,

Thank you for leaning in and helpindear godg me in my areas of need. I am thankful that, just as Your Word promises, all I have to do is seek and I will find You; call out and You will answer. Every time, without fail. To know You are always in my corner is life-changing, empowering, awe-inspiring and totally humbling. I don’t deserve You, but am oh so grateful for You and the unshakeable truth that not only do You promise me a carefree eternal life, but You also promise me that I NEVER have to do life on earth alone. Thank You, dear Lord. Without You, I am nothing. From the bottom of my heart, thank You!

Amen and Ehmen.


Dear Child,

I love you and appreciate your grateful heart. Thankfulness is the best kind of praise and worship you can offer Me as it is evidence of our growing connection and your ever-developing understanding that My plan and purposes are the best for you and for all creation.

I know life does not always—and, in fact, rarely—makes sense from your limited viewpoint; which makes it all the more important that you are walking this journey with Me and learning step-by-step to trust Me in everything–from the sunrises to the sunsets to those moments of darkness that always end in a glorious burst of color and light as the dawn coaches the sun from its slumber.

As long as you stay in My Presence, as long as your heart stays open to Me, Thankfulness and Peace Scripture Image 3even this life in which trouble is an integral part, can be filled with never-ending joy and peace.

Yes, Child, the same joy and peace–the same love, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control–that you will experience in Heaven is yours to tuck away in your heart today.

Allow these precious gifts to permeate your soul and control your thoughts and actions as you learn to fully trust Me and My Will for your life.

Remain in Me, Child, and I will remain in you. I am truly and wholly yours, today and always, and ALWAYS have your best interest at heart. I love you.

Spend some time meditating on this today.

And The Word of God says…

Thankfulness and Peace Scripture Image 2

Colossians 2:6-7: “So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.

Colossians 3:15-16: “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.”

Colossians 3:17: “And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”

Psalm 9:1: “I will give thanks to the LORD with my whole heart; I will recount all of your wonderful deeds.”

2 Corinthians 2:14: “But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere.”

Psalm 103:1-5: “Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless His holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your inequity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.”

Psalm 136:26“Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever.”

A Father to the Fatherless…


Father to the Fatherless

June 16, 2019

Dear Father,

Thank You for promises kept. All of them. So many promises since the genesis of time, all of which You honor, never letting a single one fall by the wayside.

But, while I thank You for all of those promises kept and for all the fulfilled promises to come, the one that touches me most deeply today–Father’s Day 2019–is found in Psalm 68:5—“A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.” Oh, how this promise has impacted me as You so carefully wove it into the lives of my earthly family when we lost our patriarch at the hands of a murderer.

But, not only is it a personal promise that covers me and my family, it’s a promise lovingly written in broad strokes to cover all of us who for, whatever reason, grew up with anything less than a good earthly father—whether that father was absent by no choice of his own or one who willfully ignored and disregarded what his children needed most of all: to be loved, cherished, protected and valued.

Still, if I am completely honest, I still sometimes struggle with feeling loved, cherished, protected and valued. Deep down I know that I am, because not only do You say that I am, but You have proven it time and time again throughout my life.

Help me with this, Father, and thank You for always being there no matter what and for standing in the gap for my earthly dad who I miss deeply even all these years later. Amen and Ehmen.


Dear Child,

I always address you as child, because no matter how old you are or what you have or haven’t done, you will always be just that–My child. I chose you before you were born and will continue to choose you every single day of your life throughout eternity. Nothing and no one can every change that.

Brenda, I am sorry that you did not have the opportunity to truly know your earthly dad. He is a wonderful man who also loves you very much and with who you will one day be reunited. He eagerly awaits this ultimate family reunion and, in the meantime, keeps busy enjoying His many heavenly rewards of which you are one.

We are both very proud of you and the way that you are learning to lay all the twists and turns of life at My feet so that I can make your path straight. Keep your eyes on Me and, together, we will walk heart-first into My will and your purpose.

But, be careful, My Child, not to let your feelings disrupt what you know in your spirit to be true. Feelings can be fickle, a product of the flesh which, by human nature, is weak. Just like the words of a self-professed prophet, you must always test each and every feeling against My Word, the place My truth—and yours—live and breathe; the place where love–My eternal love and affection for you, My child, resides and awaits the moment you allow it to be etched on your heart, never to be forgotten again. On this Father’s Day, I give you this gift. Drink it in. Trust it. And, know, Child…

I have searched you thoroughly and I know everything about you ( Psalm 139:1), even the very hairs on your head are numbered (Matthew 10:29-31). I know when you sit down and when you rise up (Psalm 139:2) and I am familiar with all your ways (Psalm 139:3).

For you are My offspring (Acts 17:28) who I knew before you were ever conceived (Jeremiah 1:4-5) and who was made in My own image (Genesis 1:27). I chose you when I planned creation (Ephesians 1:11-12), My child. You are not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book (Psalm 139:15-16) and in Me, you live and move and have your being (Acts 17:28).

It was Me who knit you together in your mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13) and Me that determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live (Acts 17:26). Yes, Child, you are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14) and it is My desire to lavish My love on you simply because you are My child and I am your Father (1 John 3:1).

Know this, too, My Child, I offer you more than your earthly father ever could (Matthew 7:11) for I am the perfect father (Matthew 5:28). Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand (James 1:17), for I am your provider and I meet all your needs (Matthew 6:31-33).

My plan for your future, Child, has always been filled with hope (Jeremiah 29:11), because I love you with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3). My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore (Psalm 139:17-18) and I rejoice over you with singing (Zephaniah 3:17). I will NEVER stop doing good to you (Jeremiah 32:40), for you are My treasured possession (Exodus 19:5).

I am your greatest encourager, child (2 Thessalonians 2:16-17) and I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles (2 Corinthians 1:3-4). When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you (Psalm 34:18), for as a shepherd carries a lamb, I carry you close to my heart (Isaiah 40:11).

I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus, (John 17:23) who came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you (Romans 8:31) and tell you that I am not counting your sins (2 Corinthians 5:18-19). He died so that you and I could be reconciled (2 Corinthians 5:18-19) and His death was the ultimate expression of My love for you (1 John 4:10).

Don’t you see, Child, I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love (Romans 8:31-32). If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive Me as well (1 John 2:23) and nothing will ever separate you from My love again (Romans 8:38-39).

I have always been Father, and will always be Father (Ephesians 3:14-15). My question is…Will you be my child (John 1:12-13)?

Father’s Day Feelings…


dad and girls

Writer’s Note: My dad was on the receiving end of a robber’s bullet many, many years ago, when I was just a little girl, robbing me of the opportunity to grow up with a father in my life. I have since forgiven the one who took him from us, but it still hurts, even all of these decades later…

I sit and stare at the photograph. Like my memories, it is faded. I just don’t seem to remember much. Black and white, shades of gray memories. I know you once existed in physical form, but, unfortunately, our life together was way too short; pretty much just a foreword, a preface to my own story.

Sometimes I wonder if I have blocked memories of my childhood, just because your untimely departure hurt so much. Because I know if I remember the good times then I will also have to remember how those good times ended. Those were dark days, even for an 8-year old whose most pressing decision was whether or not to climb the tree in the backyard. One day you were there and the next you were gone.

And even though my present mind sees our days together as a mere outline, like the beginning of a sketch without the details filled in, today, on this Father’s Day weekend, I sit here and FEEL a flood of memories. I FEEL your warmth as we cuddled up on the couch and watched Elvis movies AFTER my bedtime.

I FEEL your strength when you’d catch me as I leaped into your arms when you came home from work. Please forgive me if I ever hugged your neck too tight as I searched for that ever-present piece of gum in the pocket of your starched white shirt.

I FEEL your gentleness and compassion as—after being banished to my room to “just wait until your father gets home”—you arrived to lovingly correct me and, with the fluffy wallop of a pillow, forgave me of my transgressions.

I FEEL the pride I felt when I was up at “daddy’s work.” Yes, that was me that was always rummaging in your desk drawers for change for the coke and snack machines, and no, I still do NOT want a piece of the fruitcake you sold for the Civitan Club.

I FEEL thankful for all the family times, the vacations in Clearwater, Florida at the Sandlewood Hotel, the holidays, the dinners around the dining room table and all the moments for the eight years that we were together.

For though I don’t remember many of the details, I DO remember the FEELINGs of LOVE—feelings powerful enough to help me navigate through your most devastating and tragic departure; through the difficult years that followed as we tried to put our lives back together; through the many years and many milestones that would have been so much more with you there; all the way through today as I spend this Father’s Day weekend feeling memories made five decades ago; memories that turned into a life time of love.

Thank you, God, for my earthly dad and for this walk down memory lane.

But, most of all, God, I thank you for YOU and for your promise that one day my stroll down Memory Lane will bring me to Heaven’s Gate where I will once again have the chance to jump into my Daddy’s arms.  Make sure you have Juicy Fruit. It was always my favorite.

Happy Father’s Day to you both. Amen and Ehmen!

Plug In, Power Up, Press On


Psalm 143.8 imageJune 11, 2019

Dear God,

Oh how I procrastinate! It is now 6:30 a.m. and I have been awake for two and half hours. I have been waking up in the early morning hours for over a week now and know from experience–not to mention Your still, small voice–that You long to meet me here.

Still, and I am sure I sound like a broken record by now, I find everything else to do before I finally get here, if I get here at all. I catch up on my phone, even playing a silly game that I haven’t played in a month. I sweep the bathroom floor, make the bed, get something to drink, wash my C-pap supplies, feed the dog, clean the toilet, and on and on; all good things, but things that should come only after I have been obedient to You.

At least this morning, even as I did those other things, I was talking to You about why I continue to wake so early. Deep in my spirit, I knew why, but still I asked and still You answered.

Love really is patient, isn’t it?

Thank You for that and for always pursuing me, no matter what.

I am finally here and this page is Yours. I am Yours. Do with us both as You see fit.


 

Dear Sweet and Stubborn Child of Mine,

I don’t mind reminding you, for all of my children are stubborn, some more than others, but all nonetheless. The important thing is that you ARE here now.

I adore spending one-on-one time with you and desire to teach you and grant you the wisdom for which you yearn; to help you feel and fully embrace the love and acceptance for which you crave; to help you be stubborn and persistent about the right things—about Me.

I see you wanting to erase that last line you wrote: “Do with us both as You see fit.” It makes your heart beat a little faster, your breath a little more shallow. It takes you so far out of your comfort zone, you can hardly concentrate on anything else.

But, beautiful Child, that last statement has the power to transport you straight into the core of My own heart. It is where your purpose resides and where a treasure trove of heavenly riches and a heart-full of utter joy awaits you. I don’t need perfection from you, Child, just a trusting heart willing to obey. Meeting Me here is a great start.

I know there is a lot on your mind, but you must remember that fear and worry are byproducts of distrust. I have every single burden and concern in My palm and in My control. All of it, Brenda. Nothing, absolutely nothing, goes unnoticed. I AM and I am in control every second of every day.

Your friend—my beloved daughter–is going to be okay; know that. I have her in my care. Do not worry.

Your work is going to pay off and your financial situation will be blessed by it. Just keep focusing on Me in all that you do, leaving it up to Me. For anything at which I am the center flourishes. That’s a promise. This IS your day, Child. This IS your project, Child. Just watch!

Speak to Me throughout your day, Child. Ask Me about everything, even the little things, because I care about it all and because it keeps you connected to Me.

Think about your computer. What happens when it is away from its power source too long? Does it not become powerless, useless? The same happens to you. Though you may still have the infrastructure, the framework to do what you were designed to do, without power—without Me—you are unusable.

Stay plugged in, Child, and treat these early morning awakenings as a low battery indicator, as a sign that your power is running critically low. Plug in, press on and watch what happens, sweet Child of Mine.

I have this, My Child. I have you. There is no reason to fret or worry. I have it all. That’s my promise to You today and always. It and I will never change! That too is an eternal promise as is the fact that I love you with all that I AM.

Spend some time studying these scriptures today, dear one…

Isaiah 26.3

Ephesians 4:4-6 There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

Romans 6:16: Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness?

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18: Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

1 Peter 1:4-7 : …and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

It’s His job!


 

This was written a few years ago as my job struggles were intensifying. I post it today as it speaks to me yet again and I know it will speak to others as well. We all have troubles.  Fill in the blank with yours and KNOW that He has it and you…always and forever. Amen and Ehmen!

Writer’s Note: Some of you who know me, know that I have some pretty major challenges and important decisions facing me regarding my employment. It has been a most dear goddifficult couple of weeks, through which I have had a host of prayer warriors praying on my behalf. I, myself, have been talking to God…a lot…and to others even more…so much so that I didn’t leave much room for listening. This morning when He woke me up for some one-on-one quiet time, that changed. My Lord and Savior never, ever fails to amaze me. Below is our exchange from just a few hours ago. 🙂

June 25, 2016 5:30 AM

I am here, God, and I am listening.

Brenda, my child, have I not always been there for you? No matter what has happened in your job, I have worked things to your benefit and I will again.

But, you, child, must keep the faith. You must not look away at the storms around you, lest you sink, swallowed up by the sea of your own disbelief, discontent and weariness.

You can’t do this on your own. You know this and yet you fret and stress as if you can; as if it is your responsibility and within your control.

I have given you the freedom to make choices. With this comes great reward, but also great risk; for when you let that freedom become what drives you and you leave Me out of the equation, it becomes a snare. You begin to walk a very thin line between choice and self-reliance and it is easier for you to take your eyes off of Me. This becomes stressful and that stress pulls you further away from Me and the vicious cycle continues.

Choose Me, child. I am your Helper. Redeemer. Savior. I love you and care for you and want everything that is best for you. I will never leave nor forsake you. I will never ask you to fight battles in your own power, for those battles will never be won. You must choose to keep your eyes on Me. You must choose to take Me with you into every situation.

And that includes your job. I have this, child. You must choose to trust Me. I will give you the right decision; the right things to say and the right timing; if you will just choose to honestly and completely cast your cares on Me. I will give you clarity. You will KNOW what to do. Just rest in Me. Let Me take this from here. Write your stories. Consult with Me and then send the emails and make the calls that I tell you, when I tell you. I have this.

Go read Exodus 4:12

46A542F5-A195-4875-88C8-BD056C9754EAOh, my sweet, sweet Father. Please accept the tears that are falling at this moment as tears of praise and gratitude for Your great love. It is overwhelming, because I know that I don’t deserve it. I am so ashamed of how many times I focus on my weaknesses instead of the unstoppable power that I have in You. Lord, thank You for continuing to be patient with me. I am so much like Moses who also wrestled with similar struggles. But, I guess you already know that as what You sent me this morning were actually Your words to him when he was having difficulty understanding that You were with him in the mission that You were sending him on; that it was about Your power, not his.

Jesus, thank you. Thank you for never failing me. For being there and giving me such clear answers from Your Word when I seek and listen. I say this every single time, but I have to say it again. I will never get over You planting a scripture address in my mind and heart and me turning to that one verse that speaks the most applicable and perfect words into my situation. That ONE perfect verse out of 31,173 verses. And, in this very case, the NINETEEN most perfect words out of 807,361. I don’t care what anyone says, but that is not, nor will it ever be, a coincidence. That is all YOU! May I never get used to this beautiful gift. May I never forget that You have chosen me. Help me to always choose You. I love you, my dear Father, will all of my heart and soul. I commit this situation to Your capable and powerful hands. My eyes are on You. Please help me to keep them there. Amen and Ehmen.

 

The Apple of My Eye


June 2, 2019

Dear God,

As You know, it’s been a bit of a fitful night and I’ve been up for quite a while. I’m not sure if it is my on-going, intensifying neck pain, my spinning thoughts or, perhaps, a beckoning from You. I pray that it is psalm18-2the latter and will joyfully accept the others if they lead me into Your sweet Presence.

Oh, how I have missed You, dear Father. I will never understand why—when I know that You are always ready and waiting—I don’t take the time to meet You here. My life is so much better when I do. I know this. Yet, I do what I don’t want to do and don’t do what I should.

Yes, I have been spending time in Your Word every morning as I read through the one year Bible plan. Still, reading is not the same as spending quiet time alone with You in one-on-one conversation. I need to do both, or else I can easily fall into the trap of simply checking off a box as if completing a daily chore.

Your Word should never be a chore and, if it is, I’m not treating You or it with the reverence and love deserved. Please forgive me, Father. Help me to do better; to rearrange my day and my habits to continue on this yearly reading plan and to also take the quiet time I need with You. I need You. Today and every day. Please help me to remember that Your door is always open to me and I can stay in Your Presence simply by asking and showing up. Keep pulling me back to You, even if it means doing so in the wee hours of the morning as I am awakened by physical and/or emotional pain.

I love You, dear Father. Thank You for being in my corner, no matter what; for being that ONE constant that always builds me up; for always standing in the gap for whatever is missing in my life; for being the safety net that I have always wished for; for giving me a purpose and a plan for my life.

I don’t deserve You, but I’m overjoyed that You still love me, no matter what and come what may. Help me to always remember this and to return that same kind of love to You and to those all around me, no matter what and come what may. Amen and Ehmen.
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Dear Child,

You are enough. If you could see what I see, you would never have to wonder this again. I see your heart and what’s in your heart will always trump what is in your head. You see, Chapple_of_my_eye_sticker-p217388433659326321qjcl_400ild, your heart is where you and I become one; it’s where truth and love reside. Your head, however, if left unchecked, becomes fertile ground for an unending crop of lies planted by the enemy.

The truth I need you to hear most today is this: You are fearfully and wonderfully made; custom designed by Me. You are a result of My full and complete love. You are on purpose, for a purpose. You are My child and the apple of My eye.

It is human-nature to long for this kind of love from a human, but I’m the only one that can truly supply what you most desire. I know you have been hurt in this life and that hurt continues even to this day. I see it and I stand ready to comfort you. I am ALWAYS right beside you, Child, no matter what and come what may. Lean into Me. Lean on Me. And let My unending, unfailing love heal you from the inside out.

Yes, Child, I see you, and you are enough. The apple of my eye. The beat of my heart. You are Mine and I am yours. Forever and ever, Amen.

apple of eye scripture