I Heard It Through The Grapevine…



It never ceases to amaze me how God speaks to us and draws our attention to things that fence of faith grapesHe wants us learn. I have written in the past of the many things He has taught me through the grapevines that grow along the trellis and fence in my side yard. The vines were here when I moved in and at first, while I found it cool to have grapes every July and August, I never really gave it much thought. Then, a few years ago, God started using it as a teaching tool for me; and, today, I actually wonder if its existence is the very reason this became my home. The lessons are that powerful.

Anyhow, back to what brought me to the subject of grapevines again. Yesterday, the daily bible verse provided by the You Version Bible app on my phone drew my attention to John 15, a chapter in which Jesus paints a beautifully, detailed picture of Himself as the True Vine of Israel. In John 15:1-2, He says: “I am the true grapevine and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and He prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more.”

As it is one of my favorite teachings, I opened my bible and studied every word of this chapter and, as I contemplated getting ready for church, I felt compelled instead to head outside to my grapevine. Pruning shears in hand, I stood and looked at a very daunting task. Though pruning should be an annual thing, I am ashamed to say I haven’t consfence of faith grapevine crazyidered it since the last time three years ago when I wound up having to call in a professional. Oh, my, so many vines, branches and twigs twisted and wrapped tightly everywhere! You can barely see the fence nor the couple of trees that live nearby. And you certainly can’t see the actual trunks of the vines. Just like last time, I was completely overwhelmed.

And, yet, I felt one of those, what I like to call, “God nudges”, and decided to just start. I chose a portion of the vine that had overtaken one side of my fence. I cut, I pulled and tugged and then cut and pulled and tugged some more. It was such a tangled mess that parts of my fence began to break away and splinter off as I pulled the twisted, ofence of faith brokenvergrown branches away. And, it was then that I heard God’s whisper deep in my spirit.

“This, my child, is why I want you to be thankful for those times in your life when I prune you. Just look at what happens when the branches of the vine go untended.”

I immediately dropped my pruning shears and stepped back to take it in. What I noticed most was not the growing pile of crazy, curly branches already cut away or the still daunting task ahead, but the fence which stood before me weakened, damaged and broken.  The branches had weaved their way through the gaps in the fence and weakened it to the point that, as I tugged the intertwinings, huge pieces of the fence broke off and splintered, falling to the ground. It was disheartening and yet enlightening at the same time.

I pictured in my mind that the fence represents our faith in God; and that faith is what separates a true believer from the world. When we are not pruned and are allowed to grow wild, not only do we become fruitless but our fence of faith will eventually fall away, leaving our lives unclear and tangled and our eyes set more on the world than on our precious God.

On the bright side, we all have the opportunity to have a personal relationship with not only the Master Gardener who is always willing to prune us for our ultimate joy and His ultimate Glory, but also His Son, an awesome and dedicated carpenter-by-trade who will always, in all ways, help us to rebuild our faith, no matter what, just by asking.

Thank you, God, for my grapevine—the one in my yard and the one in my heart.

Amen and Ehmen.

Flying High: From Earth to Heaven.


vapor trail and neil for blogWriter’s Note: As I stepped outside, my eyes were automatically drawn heavenward. Blue, it seems, is the color of this beautiful May day as nature celebrates with a sky clothed in the most brilliant hues of blue. But even the sky in all its splendor isn’t what really caught my eye. Instead, it was the feathery white brush stroke left by a big metal bird that appeared to be heading south for the summer. Now, I realize that vapor trails are a common sight on any given blue-sky day, but they hold special meaning to me. They remind me of my good friend, Neil, who left this earth way too soon; but, more than that, it reminds me that God is real. Like the rainbow is a symbol of a promise to all of us from God, the white brush stroke of an airplane is a symbol of a promise to me—a directional arrow perched in the heavens and pointing to my purpose here on earth; to write, a specific story as well as other words that lead people to that place inside themselves where God is patiently and lovingly waiting. If you haven’t already read this piece, I hope you will take some time today. It’s a true story. I know because I lived it. Oh, and, Denny found the ripcord on her parachute. God made sure of it.

Neil, you know I’ve written more in the last few years than I have my whole life. We talked about it on more than one occasion; about how clear it was that this was what God had purposed and how it was, undoubtedly, the reason for the eternal friendships that He had so carefully orchestrated between you, me and Denny.

In five short years, I’ve written page after page of happy things, sad things; of tragedy and hope. It hasn’t always been easy, but God always seems to take over and the ink will suddenly freely flow.

But, when it comes to recounting that day, now two years past, tears have always seemed to drown out the words.  And, yet, I know must try. It’s too important. It’s critical that others know just how real God is and how He orchestrates events for our greater good. The story of December 8, 2011 is proof of such. May I never forget or take for granted the love and responsibility with which God has gifted me.

The story actually started in early October when I began searching for air-fare to come for a visit just before Christmas. I was planning to fly in on Dec. 10th, which also happened to be my 50th birthday. Already struggling a bit with this milestone birthday and not wanting Denny to feel like she had to put together some sort of celebration, I thought it would be easier to just travel that day.

To paint the picture more completely for you, I had been bidding on tickets through Priceline for several weeks trying to get the best deal. For those of you who haven’t ever used Priceline’s “Name Your Own Price,” you have to submit a method of payment along with an offer for airfare on selected travel dates. If your offer is accepted, your credit card is charged and you are the sole owner of a non-refundable airline ticket.

Anyhow, somewhere around mid-October—after two weeks and a dozen or so rejected offers —I decided to try one more time, after which, if unsuccessful, I would just outright buy a ticket. I logged on and filled in all the information along with an even lower price than I had attempted before. It was a long shot, but I figured I had nothing to lose. I was ecstatic when it was accepted at almost 40 percent less than the going ticket price. God had answered yet another prayer! My desire to be there with my friends obviously lined up with His will for me.

But, wait. The departure was 7:05 a.m. December 8, 2011. December 8th?  It was supposed to be December 10th. December 10th was the dreaded birthday and the date my work vacation started. God, however, obviously had another plan and what I thought was a mistake turned out to be yet another affirmation that He is always, and in all ways, in charge.

And, so, in the early morning hours of December 8, I sat back in the seat thankful that even on a full flight I had somehow managed to get a seat all to myself. Again, there was God, showing me that He was always looking out for me and that He knew I had much to think and pray about, especially on this day.  Like how in the world I was going to get through this trip.  Barb was gone. You were very sick and Denny was quickly slipping into a pit justifiably described as hell on earth as everything she knew and loved was systematically being stripped away from her.  She was looking more and more like a female, modern day version of Job. I hurt for her, to the core of my being, I hurt.

As the stewardess stopped momentarily in front of my seat to close the overhead compartment, she gave me a sympathetic nod. My pain, obviously visible to even a stranger, quickly liquidated and turned into a stream of tears.  I had so hoped that I would get there in time to say goodbye to Barb, but instead would be attending her funeral.

Oh, my dear God, how quickly life can change. Not just Barbie, but you too. Just a few months before, you were both so full of life, running circles around me, all the while smiling the most infectious smiles I have ever seen. Now, I was on my way to Canada to say a final farewell to Barb and to be by you and Denny’s sides as you both continued to maneuver your own deep, dark valley.

I sat back in my seat, ear buds tucked tightly in my ears and cranked up the Christian tunes. There was time for a lot of prayers between the airport runways of Atlanta, Georgia and Edmonton, Alberta.  And, as soon as the plane took off, the praying commenced.

During a short layover in Denver and before boarding the final leg of my day’s journey, I texted Denny to see how she was doing. She had been pretty emotional the night before when I talked to her, but was adamant that she would be the one to pick me up at the airport. I begged her to let one of our other friends do it, but, as per usual, she got the final word and she would be there waiting for me.  Period. She didn’t reply to my text, however; and I presumed she was probably busy with Barb’s funeral planning and taking care of you.

Back on the plane, I started to get more and more anxious. Denny was going through so much heartache and seemed to be beginning to struggle a bit with her faith.  She was finding it hard to fight anymore; her strength understandably gone. Just as this illness had stripped you of your physical muscles, Denny was feeling stripped of her spiritual muscles. She still loved God. She still believed in Jesus and she still believed in heaven. In fact, those were the only things that made any sense to her at all anymore. Yet they seemed so far away and her heart continued to crumble under the weight of it all.

And here I sat on this Canada-bound airplane wondering why God would possibly interject me into the world of such wonderful people, just as your world’s began to unravel. What could I possibly do to help? What was His plan? Why you? Why me? Why now?

My mind, my heart and my emotions were swirling like a hurricane as the plane taxied down the Denver tarmac and I again turned on my music, once again getting lost in my own little world of praise, worship and prayer. About halfway through the four-hour flight, “Hold My Heart” by Tenth Avenue North came on and I was immediately transported back to exactly one summer before when my previously-planned visit turned out to be a time of support as Denny’s brother, Stevie, had tragically drowned just the week before.

“One tear in the driving rain, One voice in a sea of pain Could the maker of the stars Hear the sound of my breakin’ heart? One light, that’s all I am Right now I can barely stand. If You’re everything You say You are Won’t You come close and hold my heart.”

As the song pervaded my heart on that day in late June, I turned every word into a fervent prayer for my friend, Denny, pleading with God to please—just as the song beseeches—to come close and hold my friend’s heart.  As the song continued, I began to feel a sense of peace and then an inexplicable nudge to open my eyes and look out the window. When I did, I saw something that I shall never forget. Right there, on a canvas of deep blue sky and billowing clouds, were clouds in the distinctive shape of two strong hands gently cradling a heart. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing and quickly reached for my camera, but when I looked back up, the image was gone. I may not have gotten the picture with my camera, but it was forever etched into my memory and heart to be recalled many times in the days and years to come—including that December day in 2011 as I traveled once again to see my friends.

Leaning forward in my seat, I wondered if perchance God might give me another sign. Praise and worship lyrics still dancing in my ears, I studied the clouds, but no matter how hard I tried, I saw nothing. I then looked towards the ground, thinking perhaps I would see something there. Still, nothing. I settled back into my seat disappointed, but continuing to pray when I decided to try one more time.

Sitting forward once again, I pressed my forehead to the window pane and gazed at the sky like a kid waiting for Santa to appear in the Christmas parade. The sky at this point was cloudless and there was nothing really to see when all of a sudden a streak of white shot across blue sky. It happened so quickly, I almost gave myself whiplash snapping my neck to the left to see if I could see the plane that obviously just left this trail. However, I saw nothing.  “Man, that was way too close,” I thought to myself. I didn’t think planes were allowed to fly so close to one another.  Not to mention, that thing must have flying at the speed of light. I settled back into my seat quite perplexed and a little nervous. If that was a mistake by air controllers, perhaps I should be worried. And, if it were a message from God, I didn’t get it. It was not near as obvious as my previous experience.

As I continued to ponder what it could have possibly been, the flight attendants began preparing the cabin for landing. I turned off my iPod as instructed and began stowing all of my belongings for landing. In less than a half an hour, I should be on the ground and on my way through customs. My emotions shifted from anxiety to more excitement as I knew I was about to see the people who had become so near and dear to me.

Having visited several times before, I had become somewhat of a pro at maneuvering through customs. I breezed through and, luggage in tow,  followed my fellow travelers through the concourses and hallways leading to the lobby where you and Denny usually waited for me.

Walking through the doors, I looked around for Denny. Not seeing her right away, I figured she was probably hiding around the corner and laughing at me looking around like a lost puppy. She loved to make me look like a dork and, to be fair, I often did the same to her. I loved when we would make you laugh with our silliness, and when I knew all you could do was shake your head, it made me laugh, too.

In a calculated effort to outsmart her and maintain at least a shred of my self-professed coolness, I stepped to the side and looked down at my phone. As I peered back up, I saw a couple of familiar faces walking towards me. It was Alex and Trina.

“Good,” I thought to myself, Denny had decided to take a break and ask for help. We exchanged hugs and I started into my story of how customs didn’t try to give me the third degree for once. As I used Neil’s name a few sentences in, I noticed Trina’s eyes filling with tears. Alex’s face grew dim and right there in the middle of the Edmonton Airport, I heard these words, “Brenda, Neil passed away this morning.”

Neil, I’m telling you, the world came to a screeching halt right then and there. It just couldn’t be true. Maybe I had fallen asleep on the airplane and was having a nightmare. There was no way that you could leave this earth this soon. There was no way you could leave your wife or your struggling church. There was just no way.

I began to hyperventilate as my sweet friends, themselves sobbing, guided me to a nearby chair. And, right there, in that moment, it all became clear.

I looked down at the airline ticket in my hand. The December 8th Priceline ticket I held was far from a mistake. I was pre-destined to fly in on this very day as support for my dearest friend now plunged into the darkest hour of her life.

And that streak against the sky; that was you, my sweet friend; it was you, doing a fly-by and letting me know that you were indeed ok.  I could always see the passion in your eyes when you spoke of flying; how exhilarating it was for you to play high above the earth, amidst the clouds and along the very threshold of Heaven.

Yes, my dear Neil, every single time I see an airplane etching its own beautiful, feathery brushstroke of white amongst the clouds, I think of you and I know in the deepest reaches of my heart that you live in a constant state of that same exhilaration multiplied by infinity. I thank our awesome God every single day for writing me into you and Denny’s story and for this new symbol and hope and joy.

Keep flying, my dear friend. We love you. We miss you. We will see you again, but not before we fulfill this purpose that God has placed before us and for which you played and still play a pivotal role.

But please, Neil, please ask our Dad in Heaven to guide Denny’s hand to the rip-cord on her own chute. I know that I know that she will safely land on her feet, but the freefall sometimes takes her breath away and, even today, two years later, she seems to forget.

Let this day–December 8, 2013, be the day that she feels your love and His love to such a degree that she can once again see life from your high-flying and heavenly perspective. Amen and Ehmen!

Sending much love from earth to heaven,

Brenda (aka “Wife Number 2)

God is the Silver Lining…


Dear God,

Tonight as I stepped outdoors to go for our evening stroll together, I took pause when I saw a darkening sky. I debated for a moment whether or not I should go and then decided to go back inside, grab an umbrecloud with silver lininglla and get to stepping. I don’t like to miss time with You.

And, as usual you didn’t disappoint. As I walked along, I felt Your Presence urging me to look up.  And there, Your sky became a theatre and the story You told, just like You, will stick with me through thick and thin.

“My child, thank you for trusting me enough to come on this walk,” I heard you say. “And, because of your obedience, I have something to share with you.”

“Look up, child. Though there are dark, ominous clouds rolling in, there are also white, puffy clouds with silver and gold highlights perched ever so gently in the blue heavens. Those white clouds, blue skies and beams of sunshine represent Me. And, even though, storms may roll in, I Am always here. Just on the other side of that dark cloud and whatever it may bring, I, your Father, your Creator, exists, working even in the storm to bring about good. Don’t forget, my child, that this is My story. I Am the Author and the Producer and I control the outcome.  And, this Good Guy, won’t ever be finishing last.  Just breathe through the storm and know that all dark clouds will eventually pass and you will see Me in all My Glory, smiling and proud of your obedience and faith. Here, child, take a bow with Me.”

Love,

Brenda

Writer’s Note: I wrote this in my personal God Journal a couple of years ago. I decided to post it today, because it is another living example that God is who He says He is and He will do what He says He will do. Trouble, in many different forms, did come to me over the weeks following this conversation with God and, to this day, I firmly believe that this reminder is what helped me to traverse those very difficult waters and come out on the other side better than before. Proverbs 3, verses 5 and 6 says: Trust God with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct your paths.” I’m continually learning this lesson by experience and, oh, what a difference it makes in my life. Things are just so much easier. Thank you, God, for continuing to direct my path. Amen and Ehmen.

And the Word of God says…

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (NLT)

John 16:33

 I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” (NLT)

Isaiah 43:2
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. (NLT)

Prayer to the Almighty Puzzle Master


Writer’s Note: This is an excerpt from my personal God Journals written several years ago as I was going through a particularly rough patch. Things were changing in my life, some painful, some confusing and all of which would turn out to be the beginning of a whole new journey for me, an exciting journey that has brought me to this place at this time, a place in which I live and breath closer to God than I ever imagined was possible. Never give up on God, my friends, because He never gives up on you! This I can promise.

Hey, God, it’s me again.puzzle pieces heart

It’s 5:11 in the morning and though I’m concerned about not getting enough sleep, I felt the nudging of the Holy Spirit that I should go get my computer and write a little this early morn. I had prayed last night for the Holy Spirit to come upon me and inspire my writing so that I am writing what you need me to write. So here I am.

When I look back on my life at the difficult times, I can always find positive things that came out of the hardships I faced. All believers can do this, if they truly have faith and trust in You. That faith and trust is what allows us to give up dwelling on the negative and firmly grasp the positive. It has been my faith and trust in You that has gotten me through this most difficult year. And, though, I am still in the midst of trials and tribulations, I can actually see Your masterful and powerful hand moving throughout my life, shifting the puzzle pieces around, snapping them in place, one at the time. It’s my faith—my  ability to see the puzzle picture of my life slowly coming together—that keeps me going.

I’m finally learning that we can’t just grab puzzle pieces from anywhere and try to force fit them into our lives, because if You didn’t put those pieces in our puzzle box, they’re simply never going to fit. And, who wants a puzzle that doesn’t fit together? No, I don’t want to create my own picture anymore. I want You, the Creator of the universe,  to be my artist, because I know that Your picture for my life is better than anything I can possibly come up with on my own. Indeed, the sooner I give You full reign and complete creative license over my life, the sooner my picture will emerge as the true work of art, the truly purposeful life I was created for.

God, I wholeheartedly, give it all to you. Right now. Take me and take my talent, work through me. I only want to write your words, words that please you, words everlasting.

Thank you for giving me these gifts. I commit them all to you.

I love you, God.

Amen and Ehmen

And our Almighty Savior says:

Isaiah 14:24: The LORD Almighty has sworn, “Surely, as I have planned, so it will be, and as I have purposed, so it will happen.

Jeremiah 29:11:  For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Romans 8:28: And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Isaiah 55:8:

My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the LORD. “And my ways are far beyond anything your could imagine.”