When unfaithfulness and disloyalty meet love.


Tears streamed down my face, my only comfort a pillow on which I should never have laid my head. I was guilty and convicted to my core.

I arose from the bed and walked out the door, beginning the proverbial walk of shame.

I had been unfaithful. I knew the one to whom I had committed my life loved me like no one or nothing else on earth ever could. He gave me absolutely everything I ever needed.

And, yet, I had been unfaithful. I turned my head and prostituted myself to pride, to fleshly desires and flashy material things. I looked for pleasures amongst crumpled bed sheets and popular society idols.

I may as well have spit in his face, this one with no agenda other than a vow to love me and exist within my heart forever.

As I walked towards the place I called home, the chatter in my head grew louder and louder. “Your actions are unforgivable,” a convincing voice said. “He will never take back someone like you.”

The voice was right.

Or so I thought.

As I trudged up the driveway of my house, each step was as heavy as my heart. I was ashamed and convinced that the one I had betrayed would be inside, fuming with anger and plotting my demise. Or, worse yet, he would be nowhere to be found.

I could take the anger and even my own demise; after all, it is exactly what I deserved. Heaven help me, how could I bear stepping foot in an empty house which used to be a loving home?

With mascara running down my face creating what looked like the prison bars of the cell that now encaged my soul, I walked up the steps and put my hand on the doorknob. I took a deep breath and opened the door. What happened next knocked me to my knees.

There he stood in front of me. In our home. He had been waiting for me throughout the dark of night and into the morning light. He stared at me intently as he rushed toward me and outstretched his hand. I impulsively braced myself, bringing my arm up in front of my face to lessen the blow.

But my arm didn’t stop him in the least. He reached down, cupped my elbow, and pulled me to my feet, standing so close I could feel his breath and hear his heartbeat. Both were slow and rhythmic as he wrapped me in his arms and whispered in my ear, “I have missed you so much. Welcome Home, Child.”

By now, you know this did not actually happen, but it is, instead, the vision that came to me while reading from the Book of Hosea earlier today. In all actuality, this is my testimony and the testimony of all of us

who have ever lost our way and fallen prey to our own flesh. And, ultimately, it is the story of all humankind since Adam and Eve took a bite of the apple.

I truly feel this in the deepest way. I know that I know, I, for one, have spent far too much of my life looking for the ideal love in people, careers and material things that would fill a great void in my life. A void I finally figured out could only be filled by the God who has been pursuing me with relentless passion from day one.

I don’t deserve His love or the countless gifts that he bestows upon me. I don’t deserve his unswerving loyalty in the face of my disloyalty and his unconditional love in the face of my own wandering.

And, yet He is always waiting with arms wide open, not just for me, but for every single one of us.

He is our God and He deserves all the love, the worship, and the praise.

 Amen and Ehmen

Answered Prayers: Hospice Patient Witnesses Daughter Say “I Do”


Writer’s Note: The following is a true story of God’s faithfulness and kindness in the face of a difficult time in life. It is a true story of answered prayers and of people allowing God to use them. If you ever feel a nudge from above or have a thought that perhaps doesn’t exactly make sense, follow your gut. There is no telling what story God wants to write. Amen and Ehmen. –Brenda.


Erin had long dreamt of her mother seeing her walk down the aisle in her wedding gown. She dreamed of her mom sitting on the front row and watching as she said “I do” to the man they have both grown to love so much.

But there was one huge problem. Her beloved mother is terminally ill and likely won’t make it to the October wedding they have been planning.

Enter Serenity Nurse Case Manager Erica and CNA Nicole. A week earlier, they both were at the patient’s home to check up on her and, as she showed more signs of decline, they discussed her situation with Erin. Seeing the devastation that registered in Erin’s eyes as she realized her mom probably wouldn’t get to see her get married, Erica and Nicole made a suggestion.

“Why not get married next week here in the living room,” Erica inquired.

With Erin’s agreement, Erica and Nicole got busy planning the July 1 event. They shopped for decorations and flowers and called in Robbie, Serenity’s chaplain, to officiate the ceremony. They also called me, the office’s volunteer coordinator,  to arrange for a wedding cake which volunteer cook-extraordinaire Barbara was happy to bake.

Everyone was thrilled to help make this special day happen, but no one more than me. Afterall, I had already seen first-hand as God divinely intervened to match this beautiful family with Serenity in the first place.

Rewind to a Friday morning just a few weeks earlier when my phone alarm twirped and tweeted a reminder that I had a long overdue eye appointment later that day in Macon. Realizing I had completely forgotten and already booked my day with patients, I made a mental note to call and cancel and went about my day.

After visiting patients in Byron and Lizella, I made my way to Macon to see my next patient, but on the way, that patient’s wife called and asked if I could delay my  visit by an hour. About that same time, a second reminder for my eye appointment popped up on my phone, reminding me not only of my impending appointment time, but also that I had forgotten to cancel it. About that same time, I also realized that I was just a few minutes away from the doctor’s office. Fate seemed determined to get me into that exam chair.

I headed over to the appointment and jumped out of the car to head inside. After closing the car door, however, I felt a nudge to reopen the door and grab my Serenity nametag. I always take it off in the car because it makes the seatbelt more bothersome and, though I obviously didn’t need to wear a name tag to go into a personal appointment, something just told me that on this day, in this office, I indeed needed it. Not one to ignore such nudges, I obliged and clipped it onto my shirt as I walked inside.

After being shown to the exam room, I was soon joined by one of the doctor’s assistants. The assistant, who introduced herself as Erin, sat at a nearby desk and began asking questions to gather information. She paused, however, when she turned and faced me.

“You work with Serenity,” she asked softly. The question consisted of only four words, but her tone made it obvious that there were a lot of feelings behind it.

“Yes, I do. Do you know us?”

“Well, I, I guess you could say that,” she stuttered quietly. “My mom has cancer and her doctors feel it is time to call in hospice. They suggested either Serenity or another hospice here in town.”

“I have been reeling ever since they uttered the word hospice, and I had no idea which one to call. In fact, I prayed all night last night, pleading with God to give me a sign and help me take the right next step,” she continued, tears welling up in her eyes. “You are obviously that sign.”

As I listened to Erin’s words, I knew at once that the events that brought me into the office and the still, small voice that led me to put on my nametag, was far from coincidental and I eagerly shared with them with Erin.

“And you weren’t supposed to be my patient, but the other girl had to leave,” she said, exhaling a deep sigh of relief as she experienced her prayer being answered in real time.

Erin signed her mother up with Serenity the next day and, as is so often the case, the Serenity team quickly became like family to her and her mother. They care for the patient’s every need and aid and advise Erin all along the way, including helping throw her this beautiful impromptu wedding so that her sweet mama could see her say “I do.”               

And what a perfect ceremony it was.

Though disease has diminished Erin’s mama’s ability to communicate verbally, it was obvious that she was deeply touched. There was a glisten in her eyes and an almost palpable air of love that circled bride and groom as they took her hands into theirs.

“We can never thank you all enough,” Erin said, leaning in to kiss her mama on the cheek. “Thank you for letting God use you and for being the answer to my prayers.”

She’s getting married…


As I sit here and listen to you and Billy moving your stuff about on the other side of Getting Ready for Marriagethe wall, preparing to load it on the trailer to move it to your new house, tears are flowing. Unexpected tears. Out of left field tears. I guess I’m just finally stopping long enough and the sounds coming from the next room are making it more real. My baby is getting married and moving out.

I hear your voice and, intellectually, I know it’s the voice of a 23-year-old beautiful, smart, mature woman, but my heart is hearing a little girl. Mama. Mama. Mama. Come here, Mama. My heart cries a little as I know that you will soon have to use the phone to call me.

I see you walk out the door with a suitcase full of clothes. Intellectually, I see a beautiful, smart, mature 23-year-old woman, but my heart sees a little girl. Bye. Bye Mama. I’ll be back. My heart cries a little as I know soon you will only be back for visits.

Then, I watch you as you watch him. Your eyes light up and all of a sudden I see a beautiful, smart, mature 23-year-old woman very much in love. I hear you tell him you love him and my heart cries for joy as I know that my baby has found her soulmate and life partner.

I love you, Billie, and these unexpected, out-of-left field tears are tears of joy. I simply can’t wait to see what you do in Chapter 2. Billy is a lucky man.