Tears streamed down my face, my only comfort a pillow on which I should never have laid my head. I was guilty and convicted to my core.
I arose from the bed and walked out the door, beginning the proverbial walk of shame.
I had been unfaithful. I knew the one to whom I had committed my life loved me like no one or nothing else on earth ever could. He gave me absolutely everything I ever needed.
And, yet, I had been unfaithful. I turned my head and prostituted myself to pride, to fleshly desires and flashy material things. I looked for pleasures amongst crumpled bed sheets and popular society idols.
I may as well have spit in his face, this one with no agenda other than a vow to love me and exist within my heart forever.
As I walked towards the place I called home, the chatter in my head grew louder and louder. “Your actions are unforgivable,” a convincing voice said. “He will never take back someone like you.”
The voice was right.
Or so I thought.
As I trudged up the driveway of my house, each step was as heavy as my heart. I was ashamed and convinced that the one I had betrayed would be inside, fuming with anger and plotting my demise. Or, worse yet, he would be nowhere to be found.
I could take the anger and even my own demise; after all, it is exactly what I deserved. Heaven help me, how could I bear stepping foot in an empty house which used to be a loving home?
With mascara running down my face creating what looked like the prison bars of the cell that now encaged my soul, I walked up the steps and put my hand on the doorknob. I took a deep breath and opened the door. What happened next knocked me to my knees.
There he stood in front of me. In our home. He had been waiting for me throughout the dark of night and into the morning light. He stared at me intently as he rushed toward me and outstretched his hand. I impulsively braced myself, bringing my arm up in front of my face to lessen the blow.
But my arm didn’t stop him in the least. He reached down, cupped my elbow, and pulled me to my feet, standing so close I could feel his breath and hear his heartbeat. Both were slow and rhythmic as he wrapped me in his arms and whispered in my ear, “I have missed you so much. Welcome Home, Child.”
By now, you know this did not actually happen, but it is, instead, the vision that came to me while reading from the Book of Hosea earlier today. In all actuality, this is my testimony and the testimony of all of us
who have ever lost our way and fallen prey to our own flesh. And, ultimately, it is the story of all humankind since Adam and Eve took a bite of the apple.
I truly feel this in the deepest way. I know that I know, I, for one, have spent far too much of my life looking for the ideal love in people, careers and material things that would fill a great void in my life. A void I finally figured out could only be filled by the God who has been pursuing me with relentless passion from day one.
I don’t deserve His love or the countless gifts that he bestows upon me. I don’t deserve his unswerving loyalty in the face of my disloyalty and his unconditional love in the face of my own wandering.
And, yet He is always waiting with arms wide open, not just for me, but for every single one of us.
He is our God and He deserves all the love, the worship, and the praise.
Amen and Ehmen






