Writing

His Call, My Heartbeat

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The blank page beckons.blank computer screen

Visual silence.

A blank slate interrupted only by the blink of the cursor.

Blink. Blink. Blink. It’s slow and rhythmic and, for me, thought-provoking.  It’s like the heartbeat of a new creation just waiting to be born.  

No wonder I have such an affinity for the blank page, for it is the platform on which thoughts and words come alive and, if I am lucky, become helpful and provide a positive impact to those who read them. Better yet, they become a tool for the Lord, our God.

Words are my calling. I’ve always had a predisposition for them, but, several years ago, it became evident that writing is a big part of the reason I was put on this earth. Still—though the calling is undeniable and has become almost as important to me as breathing—I still wrestle with it at times as, more often than not, I find myself fighting to find the time and energy to commit to it.

Time or no time, however, it is absolutely impossible to describe the feeling I get when I know that there is something I need to write. It bubbles up from the inside and I am miserable until I finally put it onto paper. And the very, very best part is when someone reaches out to me out of the blue to tell me how something I wrote touched them or inspired and helped them in some way.

This week—a week when I was particularly needing encouragement to find a way to continue, despite my crazy work schedule and other demands of life—three people reached out to me to tell me how God had used something I wrote to speak to them and encourage them in a profound way. What I want them to know is that God also used them to reassure me that I cannot give up on this mantle He himself has placed upon me.

Somehow, some way, I will continue to answer His call. His call, my heartbeat; the blank page, my canvas. Thank you, Jesus, for giving me encouragement through Your Word and through other people. Keep reminding me that what I view as waiting is all part of the process. Write on…

Amen and Ehmen.   

The Prologue of A Purpose

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I realize that most writers are also avid readers, but truth be told, outside of the bible and a blog here and there, I really do not read much. And, when I do read, it usually tends to be books to which I feel particularly drawn or to which God seems to lay in front of me over and over until I pay attention.

A few years ago, it was Seven Days in Utopia.  One day as I was researching something online for work, I seven-days-in-utopia-book-movie-cover_default_550opened a random webpage. Though I had not clicked anything and my cursor blinked rhythmically within the safe confines of the search bar, my screen was instantaneously filled with not one, but multiple video advertisements. Cascading from top to bottom, video clips bombarded my consciousness–each one playing a different part of the trailer for the book’s newly-made movie.

At first I was annoyed, but after the fifth or so video popped up, I was compelled to pay attention. Determined to figure out if this had been a stroke of marketing genius or a simple computer malfunction, I noted the name of the movie and closed and reopened the page to see what would happen. This time the page remained static with just one banner ad across the top. I moved my cursor from the search bar onto the ad and clicked. The movie trailer began playing again, but this time just once. I then went to another computer at my house and navigated to the same page. Again, I had to move my cursor and click on the banner ad for it open a single time. I even had my daughter check from her MacBook and, no big surprise, one banner ad and one click to open.

“Ok, God, I’m listening,” I said as I began researching the book and looking up movie times. I did go see the movie and truly enjoyed it, but it was the story behind the movie that really resonated with me. It was about the author and how, out of nowhere, God let him know with no uncertainty that Seven Days in Utopia was something He wanted him to write and how everything just fell into place. You’ll have to Google the book/movie and the author, Dr. David L. Cook and check out his story or click on this link: http://www.beliefnet.com/columnists/moviemom/2011/08/interview-david-l-cook-of-seven-days-in-utopia.html. God has done a similar thing with me as He Himself has laid an incredible story in front of me and continues to ignite a compelling passion in me to write it.  In the interview linked above, I can especially relate to the part where the Seven Days in Utopia author said:

“I’m not smart enough to write some of the things I’ve found embedded in this story.  I’m just scribing it.  When other people say it means something to them and affects their life — that’s pretty amazing.”

About a year later after my experience with Seven Days in Utopia, a post by a local Christian bookstore seemed to leap off a very busy Facebook newsfeed. It was about a new book entitled The River by the-river-bookMichael Neale. I was unexplainably drawn to the post and, as I learn to be more obedient, went straight to Amazon, found the book and bought it. When it came in the mail a few days later, I immediately began reading it. Two things stirred me to my very soul in the very first pages. The first was this quote by Barry Lopez in the “Note From The Author”: 

“If stories come to you, care for them. And learn to give them away where they are needed. Sometimes a person needs a story more than food to stay alive.”

Wow!

The second thing which struck me to my core were the first sentences of page 1, the author’s prologue:

“Every now and then, you have an encounter with someone who changes your life. A conversation or interaction so profound, it seems otherworldly. You can’t get his (or her) story out of your head and heart. It’s hard to explain how powerful stories can resonate within us on many levels, but it’s often because they speak with passion, heartache, or even joy…I don’t think these encounters happen by chance. I think there is a reason, although we will never understand the full weaving of life’s tapestry of events this side of the eternal. I have had such an encounter with someone. It moved me to my core, so much so that I had to share it…”

I had such an encounter with someone as well. Indeed, it was not an accident that I met my friend Denny over a virtual scrabble board and it was not an accident that, since that very day, our lives have been intertwined and interwoven in such remarkable ways that no one, much less either one of us, can refute that there is a purpose behind our predestine. Indeed, I can’t get this story “out of my head or my heart.” It has changed my life, moved me to my core and I know, without question, that there are people out there that need this “more than food to stay alive.”

May God–the author of our lives–continue to nudge me and keep me on the path to putting this story and others on paper.  And I ask that you, too, the reader of this, pray for me as all too often I let satan and life dampen my passion for the purpose He has lay before me. 

I will pray the same for you–that passion for your own purpose is reignited each and every day. Amen and Ehmen!

 Yours in obedience,

Brenda

Reflections in the Night

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Happy Saturday, everyone. I want to apologize for being little quieter than usual of late. As I have mentioned in prior posts, my personal world has been pretty noisy lately. However, I promise that I’m staying connected to The Father and will be back on track with my posts soon. Please continue to pray for me and for my family and know that I will be doing the same for you. In the meantime, I was scrolling through some old computer files and found this short little snippet I wrote about this same time of year all the way back in 1998. It’s not really all that special in and of itself, but it really just struck a chord with me tonight as it transported back to a night almost two decades past that I would otherwise simply have forgotten. I’m so thankful for words and for the fact that God has planted such a love for them deep inside. Written memories are the best and I really enjoyed this short jaunt down memory lane. I hope, if nothing else, it inspires you to take out pen and paper the next time you have a moment worth remembering.   🙂

Reflections in the Night

 As I sit here alone in the night, a sheath of black velvet enveloping, my mind can’t help but basketball goalHoneysuckle-Flower-wallpaperdrift…embrace this peaceful journey being offered to me…a journey of reflection.

This is my home, where I grew up. Right over there hangs the old basketball goal, it’s homemade backboard of wood now weathered and worn, but still proof that young children once lived here. The sweet, sweet smell of honeysuckles still linger from the summer and the crickets are still harmonious and serenading us to sleep night after night.

My, but it is comforting to know that some things never change in this crazy world.

Tonight I ask that you, too, always remember to share your yesterdays, todays and tomorrows — even if it is just with the night.

Amen and Ehmen!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

Leaving a Blessing

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As the temperatures cool and the world sports the colors of the Thanksgiving season, it’s always nice to take pause and thank God for our many blessings. And there is so very much to be thankful for. Leaves, for example. Starting as a tiny bud, new leaves spring forth around Easter time each year, literally breathing life into the world, not only preserving our very existence, but also providing us shade along the way. Indeed, every single leaf has an important, life-giving, life-preserving job. Perhaps that is why God gives them such a beautiful and colorful exit every fall. This year, as the leaves around you burst into an array of breath-taking colors, take a moment to thank God for them. And as they take their final bows, falling from the trees carried by the gentle winds of November, send up a bountiful round of applause straight from earth’s stage to Heaven’s ears.

Breadcrumbs to Heaven…

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Writer’s Note: This was penned into my Dear God journals during my personal “Me and Thee” time Easter Sunday 2014. I post it today as God has been nudging me to revisit this verse and teaching. Don’t you just love how He works? May He never stop speaking to our hearts. Amen and Ehmen!

Walking the Talk

Good Morning, God.

You are risen! You are risen indeed! Thank you, Lord, for doing what you did for me. For dying on that cross. For enduring such great emotional, spiritual and physical pain so that I might share in your inheritance with the Father; that I might live forever in the presence of the Almighty God. Today, Lord, in our time together, I’d like to know more about the verse above. Words are very important to the writing craft and being creative is an important part of the writing process. Lord, you lead me to this verse this morning, and I ask you, with humble heart and a desire for obedience, to show me what you mean and help me to not get caught up in trying to write for the sake of writing and impressing others, but writing with a pen dipped in Your power and then walking in that power. I love you, Lord. With all my heart and soul. Lead me. Guide me. Teach me. I am yours today and forever. And you are mine. Thank you for that! Thank you, Jesus!

Dear, dear child of mine,

I love you, too. I gave you this chapter and verse this morning, because I want to make sure that you fully understand your calling. Yes, it is to write, but it is to write in my power and then to go into the world and live those words. When you do this, your pen strokes will flow off the page and into the heavenly realms leaving a clear-cut path to me. Like a trail of bread crumbs that both nourishes and leads the hungry. But, child, do not get caught up so much in the words. Don’t worry and fret. Who can add a single moment to their life by worrying? Don’t worry about what you will say. Just stay in my presence at all times and I will give you the words to say, when words are what is needed. God back and read 1 Corinthians 4:20. Read it three times, out loud. Each time pausing on a different word and then come back to me and this page. Listen, child. For the Kingdom of God is not just a lot of talk; it is living by My Power. My Word is the fuel of My Power and it is important that you top off your tank every day. Listen to My voice every day, every moment child and I will never lead you astray. My will for you, my purpose for you, the things that you most desire are within your reach as long as I am within your reach; as long as you remain within the sound of My voice. Hear Me, child, and join me in Walking the Talk. I love you, child. And, yes indeed, I AM RISEN! I AM ALIVE and I AM LIVING IN YOU!

A Personal Conversation About Purpose…

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Writer’s Note: My brother, Gary, passed away this week and after writing his eulogy, I have had little emotional energy to write anything else. So, today, I post something from my personal Dear God Journals. It’s a personal conversation on purpose, a dialog, if you will, between me and Thee. May we all find peace and purpose today and in the coming days. Amen and Ehmen.

Today, while looking for the scripture that said “Praise God from who all blessings dear godflow,” I realized that, while based on biblical truths, it is not a verbatim scripture from the Bible at all; but is instead from a song written in 1551. Then, I realized that God did not stop when he completed the 1,189 chapters, 31,173 verses, or 807,361 words in …the Bible.  Nor did He stop with the parables of the Gospels or when He inspired that old gospel hymn. God still, today, has things to say and as long as we keep our eyes, ears and hearts tuned to Him, we will still see His words and teachings all around us; a continuous flow of comfort, restoration and salvation for those yet wandering in the desert on the fringe of the Promised Land.

From there, my mind wandered to purpose. Probably because that is the topic of study coming up at my church and is something that has been pounding me personally over the head for the past several weeks. I began to ponder how God hasn’t stopped utilizing plain ol’ everyday sinners for His purposes and that I, like all of us, have been purposed and given the gifts to fulfill that purpose. About three years ago, when God opened my eyes to my own purpose., it was like seeing Jesus standing on the water, calling to me, my purpose in His hand. But, while relieved to finally know what my purpose was, I must admit that I did not fully embrace it and have allowed fear and life’s everyday obstacles to get in the way. It has been an on-again, off-again affair, to say the least.

I desperately want to be like Peter who trusts Him enough to step out of the boat. Sure, Peter sank, but I know in my heart of hearts that just proves that it’s ok to be human and that God’s grace and hand will always be there to save us. Not being able to do something on our own does not make us a failure at all, but instead it is this realization through which we gain eternal life. Truly, we have nothing to lose, but everything to gain by keeping our eyes locked on Jesus and for repeatedly stepping out of that boat, our purpose in hand.

And, just as I punctuated that last thought, I heard that small, still voice whispering softly to my spirit:

“Don’t you get it, My child? You know in  your heart that I want you to write; that is My purpose for you. Need an aha moment? Here it is. That poor memory I gave you was never intended as an obstacle. Instead it has taught you the habit of writing things down; things that were not meant just for you. Keep writing, my child. Words are powerful. I used them to create the world and I still use them to reach my many lost and wandering children who, like you, tend to forget that I am here to save them. You, My daughter, are like a pen through which My ink wants to flow. As long as you allow Me to be the one that clicks the button that locks the ink reservoir in place, My everlasting ink will flow through you so that you can do your part to fulfill My purposes. Keep writing, my child, and leave the rest to Me.”

Enough said. Thank you for choosing me, Lord. Please help me to be one of the most used, most reliable pens in your arsenal.  Forever and ever. Amen and Ehmen,

Pondering “On Purpose”

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From my personal “Dear God” journals. Did you know that the best prayers are really just converdear godsations; a real, two-way chat between you and your Heavenly Father? You talk and you listen…the latter being the most important, especially when the other conversationalist is your very Creator. In recent years, I have enjoyed putting those conversations on paper, starting my morning with God’s Word, a blank page and a desire to get closer and learn more from my Father in Heaven. Much of what I write stems from these early morning sessions. This morning I invite you into my private God time in hopes that you find a word or perhaps two that speaks to you. And, remember, you, too, can talk to God. You don’t need fancy words or a specific time and place. Just talk to Him like you would a friend. He’s always listening…and speaking.  Amen and Ehmen! 🙂

Hey, God.

I’m sorry about letting work and things get in the way of our time together this morning, but here I am. Better late than never, I suppose. Help me to stay right here with you, mind, body and spirit until we have had this very important one-on-one time together. Help me to stay committed as I know that this is what is needed to get me to the next level of your will and purpose for me. It is what is needed to help me learn to move aside and let you do your thing….your way….in me. It is what is needed to get the education that You want me to have, oh Teacher. Lord, help me to turn everything else off and “just be” with you. I don’t want to be that kid that is texting and surfing the internet the whole time their parent is trying to talk to them. Billie has done that to me and it doesn’t feel very good. And, honestly, I’ve done it to people too and there is no way that I got everything that I should have and could have gotten out of the time spent with them. Satan is happiest when we bow to our flesh or his temptation and will do anything to drive us to distraction when we are trying to do what is righteous and what is good. He will do anything to close our bibles and clog our minds. He will do anything to keep this time between us from happening, but anything is possible WITHIN my power in You, in Jesus’ name. Help me to stay in Your Name, dear Lord. Today and every day. Amen and Ehmen.

Dear Child,

You are Mine and I am proud of you. Your enemies may distract you, but they can never take you away from Me or My love. You are special. You are talented. You are finally beginning to open the gifts I have given you. I know it is hard for you to just sit in front of this blank page with a clear mind focused on just Me and My purposes for you. But, I will say this again and again until you hear me. Your desire to seek my perfect will is what matters the most and that, together with My power, is all that is needed to get the job done. You are My child and I am your Father. I will always be there to gently correct you when it is needed and will always do everything out of love and for your best interest. And, in serving your best interest, I will always be fueling you to fully and completely fulfill the purposes I have laid before you. You will get there, my Child, as long as you stay with me. And it will be more glorious than anything you can imagine. But, also know this, it is a process. My will for you is ongoing. There are checkpoints along the way; tasks that will be completed and fulfilled, but your purpose is not one thing, one end result. It is not one book to be written or even published. That may be part of it, but it’s not the end. Your responsibility in fulfilling your purpose continues until you come home to Me for eternity, and the end results of your fulfillment of that purpose will, like you, live on for eternity. Not just until the end of the age when I return to gather all of my belongings, but after My Kingdom has come as well; for your purpose, just like the purposes of all My children, is to spread the good news to and fro across the earth, through the ages and all generations, and that has eternal implications. There are people that you and only you can reach for the Kingdom and these are people within your personal sphere of influence today as well as people who you don’t even know and even some that aren’t even born yet. I don’t expect you to understand it all. You can’t on your side of Heaven, but you do have to trust Me. I’m proud of you for wanting this more than anything; for wanting my Will and Purpose for you more than material or worldly things. I have heard your cries and pleas. I know you are ready to “get started”, but I need you to understand that THIS is “getting started.” Just stay focused on me; stay in obedience. Keep communicating with me daily and, yes, stick with our morning time together, not because I want to give you another rule to keep or hoop to jump through, but because I want undistracted time to truly develop and grow you; to touch you spiritually and to deeply love you. To help you fulfill your purpose from me as that purpose can only be fulfilled through Me. Let that seep deep into your understanding, dear child. Any purpose from Me, must be fulfilled though Me. Oh, the plans I have for you. Now, go about your day, dear Child, and know that I am with you every step of the way. It really is all good, when I’m in the picture. Shalom.”

Oh, my dear Lord, thank you so very much. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you. I lay here smiling broadly and deeply breathing in a sense of peace and joy that can only come from you….such a far cry from where I was less than an hour ago when this exchange started. I was knee deep in work frustrations, which I allowed to start, before my time with you, and, yet, just as You always promised, you brought me back into Your Peace and Purpose. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I cannot wait to go back and see what was written as I am always astonished by the wisdom, love and beauty. I can’t always see the entire picture when I’m typing. I get an idea, but nothing like what I get out of it when I read it. Thank you for communicating with me like this. What a precious gift. I love you, dear Father. And I praise you as I strive to always live in Jesus’ name, Amen and Ehmen!