Nov. 30, 2016

Good Morning, Glory.

I have no idea where that came from, but I like it. After all, Lord, You are the most Glorious of all.

Abba, though I sometimes feel like it is futile to confess things to You, the One who knows all, I am beginning to realize that confession is not about You at all. Instead, it’s about me recognizing and knowing those things that aren’t pleasing to You; recognizing and knowing those things that I need to change as I strive to walk and live even closer to You.

And, so today, I must confess. I’m still feeling lost and confused.

Though I know beyond a shadow of a doubt what my purpose is in this life, I still feel as if I’m spinning my wheels of late; like I’m wasting time in my job and in my life. Look at the last few months, Lord. I’ve worked such crazy and long hours that I have hardly spent any time with You. I’ve tried to stay connected, whether by prayer or podcast, but much of it has, quite frankly, felt forced; me just going through the motions, desperately trying to hold on to the deep connection I have enjoyed over the past few years since closening my walk with You.

And, my purpose?  It’s still there. It just seems to be sitting on the shelf collecting dust.

Father, I know deep in my heart that You have not changed, nor has Your purpose for me. But, this is really hard. Just when I thought you and I were on the same page, the disappointments started rolling in. And, the worst part of it all is that everything that I wanted and prayed for was what I thought You wanted for me as well.

You know that I have longed and still long to work in a more spiritual environment; a place where I can have the time to lean in even more; to study and learn more about You so that I can share You even more. My heart is in the right place. Or, at least I think it is.

Come close, Father. Show me if there are things that I need to change in order to better live this purpose that You have planted so firmly and deeply into my heart. Hold me close and help me know when and if I need to move or if I need to simply stay planted and await further direction. If the latter is Your plan, help me Lord to continue accepting it and to make the best out of it; doing it to the best of my ability and, most of all, to Your Glory.

Today, just as always, I need Your Holy direction. Thank You for never, ever giving up on me and for reminding me that I can do all things through You who strengthens me. I’m ready to rise up, to mount up with wings like eagles. I want to run and not be weary, to walk and not be faint. Come close, Dear Father, for all these things are impossible without you.

And, as I fell silent in the early morning hours, after laying my heart bare before the Lord, the following are the words I heard deep in my spirit.

Dear Sweet Child of Mine,

No matter how many side roads you may take in this life, My love and purpose for you never changes. Instead, You can rest in the knowledge that I will take things that happen while you travel along those side roads and use them to further you along your purposed path when you do return to it.

And you will return. Stop fretting so much and realize that you are where you need to be at this moment in time. If I allowed you to do everything at once—if I showed you everything at one time—you would implode.

Following My plan for your life is only part of the equation.

The other part is following My timing.

I’m so pleased that you are excited about My plan for you, but now you have to trust Me for the right timing.

As long as your heart continues to be in the right place—that is, as long as your heart continues to be in Me—you can breathe easy knowing that absolutely nothing on earth or in the heavens can stop us.

Dear, dear Child, even if you are sidelined for a while, you must remember that you are not on the sideline alone! You stand in unity with other teammates who are also waiting for just the right moment to take the field; but, even more importantly, you stand with Me, the one that will tell you when the moment is right.

Stay suited up; do not give up; do not quit, for if you quit, My beautiful Child, you won’t be available when I need you.  Just continue to wait on me. Your time is near and so am I.

“And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.” (Galatians 6:9)

“Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5: 6-7)

“The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him. It is good that one should hope and wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.” (Lamentations 3:25-26)